It didn't take me long to realize after I woke up, that it was quite possible that my water had broken. You would think with this being my third pregnancy, I would definitely know if my water had broken. Not the case. I wasn't having contractions, so I decided to get up and shower and get me and the kids ready, just in case my water HAD broken and we had to make a mad dash to the hospital if killer contractions became an issue. We also put a call in to the sister in law so she could come watch the kids...just in case.
I took a shower. Nothing. I gave ZoeJane a bath. Nothing. I did my hair. Nothing. I got the kids dressed. Nothing. I ate lunch. Nada. Around lunch time I decided that my water hadn't broken and I gave up on waiting for contractions. Around 3pm, I laid down for a nap. I slept for about two hours (this turned out to be a good thing), and when I woke up, Brittany (sister in law) was on her way. At about 6:30pm, I decided to clean a little...hoping that I was initially wrong and I was in labor. I figured the activity would maybe help start some regular contractions. I was able to unload and reload the dishwasher before my back started hurting like hell. I had Dayton walk outside with me so I could get some fresh air and relax a little, as I was more nervous at this point than I was the first time I gave birth (Scary ultrasounds, confusing measurements, and a scare with brain ventricles tend to do that to you).
Brittany got to our house at about 7pm, and was ready to roll. I had expected that she would want to stay at our house with ZoeJane and Michael to save herself the hassle of trying to wrangle them in a hospital waiting room...but she was too excited to stay, so we all loaded up and headed out. I rode with Brittany and the kids and we stopped by Taco Bell on the way. I got food for Dayton and the kids. I decided to skip in case I was in labor. I didn't think eating right before would go over too well. We pulled into the parking garage and everybody ate. I called my sister to let her know what was going on.
We got Brittany settled in the play area with ZoeJane and Michael. I left my phone with her in case she needed anything, she could call Dayton's phone. Dayton and I headed up to the 3rd floor and checked into labor and delivery. Surprisingly, they got us right back to a triage room, hooked Phoenix and I up to all kinds of monitors, and did the test. The first test to check for amniotic fluid came back negative. I still wasn't having regular contractions, but the labor and delivery nurse (who must know how exhausting it is to be 39 weeks pregnant with two small kids at home. Bless her relentless heart.) said she wanted to do a second, more accurate test just to be safe. Okay, whatever. Dayton was bummed, as he had gotten all hyped up for what he thought was labor. I was bummed that he was bummed (though slightly relieved, as I had been terrified and dreading labor since the initial scare with the ventricles), and I was then focusing on the fact that it was about 7:45pm and ZoeJane was supposed to be in bed at 8pm so she could wake up the next morning for school. The nurse did the test, and told us it would take 10 minutes to get the results. She also mentioned that if the test came back positive before then, she'd be right in to let us know. The whole 10 minutes passed, so I was sure we were going home. Right around the time I realized that 10 minutes had passed, she popped her head back into our room "Yep! You're ruptured! You're not going home". I must have looked at her with the most insane look on my face, and all I could get out was "Are you sure?". She was excited for us. Dayton was stoked. I felt like I was going to throw up.
Since my water had been broken for about 12 hours now, they moved really fast. She immediately checked to see how far dilated I was. 3 centimeters. I sent Dayton down to the waiting room so I could see ZoeJane and Michael before Brittany took them back home. While he was gone, I put my hand on my belly..knowing that I would only be able to feel Phoenix's kicks for a few more hours and had a pep talk with him. I told him how much I loved him and that I needed him to be strong. I asked him not to be too difficult, lol. The nurse came in and told me that they would need to start an IV right away so that they could start pitocin to get him out because my water had been broken so long. They would also need to start me on antibiotics within the next few hours to counteract any possible infection that had started due to my water being broken for so long. Great. So much for all natural. The kids came back in with Dayton and Brittany and I was able to see them for a split second before the nurse came in to start my IV. I had Brittany take the kids back out because I knew Michael would be upset if he saw them put the IV in. He's my little worry wart. This is where the sweet stuff started.
When I was in labor with Michael, Dayton was pretty much comatose for the whole event, as he had been making a 2 hour commute each way, five days a week, for months at that point. He missed the IV the last time..and I hate that part the most. So, once the kids were out of the room, he came over to the bed and stood on the opposite side from the nurse. He held my hand and laid over me so I wouldn't have to see the needle (the last nurse scarred me when she told me that the IV's they use for labor and delivery are much bigger than normal IV needles). He told me to squeeze his hand if I needed to. The first vein blew....on to the other wrist. It hurt like hell, but at the same time, I was completely focused on how sweet it was of him to help me through it, it was hard to notice. After I was all set up, the kids came back in and we were off to the labor room. While we were walking, ZoeJane asked me what was in my arm, and if it hurt. She sounded worried, until I told her that it didn't hurt and that it was just something mommy's get when they're having babies. That seemed to do the trick.
The room was huge, and surprisingly pretty and cozy considering the things that were bound to take place in there. The view was of the parking garage, which was actually pretty comforting for me because it meant I could focus on the cars coming and going if I got nervous. I got settled in the bed and Dayton had to go back to the house with Brittany, as he had left (and locked) the keys in the house. He also had to go over all the rules and routine info with Brittany. We didn't do it earlier because I was so sure it was another false alarm. I begged him to hurry, since I knew that this being my third baby...I could go from zero to GO in about 15 minutes. I was so scared for him to leave. I got hugs and kisses from my babies and they were off. Not long after he left, my midwife came in and we chatted about everything they were going to need to do (pitocin, antibiotics, blood work for Phoenix right after birth, etc.), then we moved on to small talk (like the fact that my other midwife, who is her daughter in law, is expecting a baby in about 2 months..a little girl) and she eased my mind. I begged her not to start the pitocin until Dayton was back, but she assured me that I had plenty of time and we needed to go ahead and get it started to reduce the risk of infection. Of course, Phoenix's needs came first...so we started it. About the time she walked out, I looked out to the parking garage and realized that I had been looking at Dayton's truck. He was gone, but I knew I'd be able to see when he got back. I stared at the window until my nurse came back in. In the few minutes she had distracted me, he was back. By then, the contractions were already noticeable. It was such a relief to look over and know that he was back and would be in the room within minutes. For some reason, just knowing he was back made me feel safe.
He walked in, armed with two cans of Monster. He had already taken a 5 hour energy shot. He knew how important it was to me for him to be involved this time. He came back prepared for the long haul. When he came in, he knew that I was already feeling the contractions. We sat and talked for a few minutes. He tried his best to calm my nerves. We were all settled in by around 9pm. By 10:45pm, the contractions were a steady 2 minutes apart, and after a couple of hours of hard contactions, I decided to take pain meds. They kicked in pretty fast, and initially, they didn't really help the pain...but I didn't care about it nearly as much. After a while, I didn't even feel them (whether this was due to me being high as a kite or the pain medication actually working is TBD). Dayton pulled the chair up beside my bed where he could read the monitors and talk me through the contractions as they came and went, and he started Jewel's lullaby CD on his computer that I had asked him to download for Phoenix a few weeks before. It didn't take me long to relax enough to fall asleep for a few minutes. When I woke up, he was still beside me. Unfortunately, the pain meds wore off after about an hour. By then, I was shaking uncontrollably due to the saline, antibiotics, and pitocin being pumped into me. At about 1:30am, the nurse came in to check me and I had only made a little progress...I was only at 4cm. I finally broke down and asked for the epidural. I still feel like a puss.
Dayton kept trying to make me feel better about taking it, as I had really wanted to go natural this time. The anesthesiologist came in and set up. He was friendly, which always makes things easier and less stuffy. They positioned me with my legs hanging off the bed. Dayton came and stood in front of me, talking me through the contractions I was having. The dr kept trying to tell me that there would be a little stick to numb the area, and that would be the worst part. All I kept thinking was "Blah, blah, blah! I've done this a time or two before, kid!". I kept looking at Dayton. For some reason, eye contact with him is enough to calm my nerves. And it did. His eyes started watering right before the doctor started. I asked him what was wrong, and he said he hated seeing me in pain. I knew if I saw him cry, I'd lose it. So I just rested my head on his chest. The doctor numbed the area. No biggie. I mean, really. I had a baby working his way to my birth canal. I didn't expect a needle to be too bad. Then he told me to hold still because he was about to insert the tube. It didn't hurt, but it was enough pressure to make me jump. Dayton tried to hold me still. I must have apologized to the doctor about 50 times, as everyone knows that the #1 rule of getting an epidural is DO NOT MOVE. He was nice and kept telling me it was okay and that he was sorry. Poor Dayton had to sit through my death grip after that. It took a while for the epidural to REALLY kick in. It didn't work as well as the first epidural I had with ZoeJane, but at that point...I was taking what I could get.
After it finally kicked in, I tried to rest, but the adrenaline was pumping hard. Well, adrenaline and about 52 other things like...pitocin, antibiotics, saline, and whatever that beautiful liquid that runs through the epidural tube is. A little while after I took the epidural, my midwife came back in to check me. 6 centimeters. This was moving MUCH slower than I had expected. It must have been about 4am when I suddenly perked up and felt a lot of pressure. Dayton went and got the nurse for me. This wouldn't seem like a big deal to most people....but it was huge to me. He's not the type to hunt down a nurse and ask for her to come check his wife. He's not even the type to push the little call button and ask someone that way. It was a big deal. She came in and checked me. I almost fell off the bed when she said I was only at 8cm. I was terrified. If it was that uncomfortable at 8cm WITH an epidural, how bad were those last 2cm (not to mention the actual pushing stage) going to be?! She told me I could take an extra dose of the epidural, but it may make the pushing stage harder, as I wouldn't be able to feel anything. I decided to try and tough it out. She left the room and probably got all of about 3 steps out of the door when all of a sudden, it felt like he was coming right then. It scared the hell out of me, and Dayton went back out for her. I thought I was going crazy, as there was no way I could have progressed that fast. She came back (probably cussing me out in her mind), and said "You're at 10! You're ready to push!". Cue exercises to counteract a panic attack.
At 4:44am, I started pushing. Maybe twice. Only my nurse was in the room. I'm not sure why, but she stepped away from the bed and started doing something with the monitor. Another nurse came in and my midwife came back. Peggy (midwife) is so laid back. She's probably in her 60's and I imagine it would be nearly impossible for this woman to panic. The nurses are rushing around getting the warmer and bassinet ready. They're setting up the instruments and turning the lights on. I don't care how many kids you have...it never gets comfortable to have a room full of people starting at your lady parts with giant, bright lights shining down. Luckily for me, my sweet husband was nice enough to stay at the head of the bed and spare me at least a little embarrassment. Peggy comes into it all and says "Oh! Are we ready to push?". She slips on a gown and comes up to me. I remember telling her that my hands were suddenly tingling. She smiled at me and said, "You're okay. You're hyperventilating a little. But everything is fine. We're good.". Instant calm. The 4am news was on the tv behind Peggy. Dayton asked if I wanted him to turn it off. I told him no, because it was giving me something to focus on. I specifically remember David Chandley reporting a high of 84 degrees for the next day. Peggy sat down at the end of the bed. My nurse stood beside her. The new nurse was beside me, and Dayton was on the other side. He wanted to hold my hand, but the nurse had him hold my leg, lol. I hated it. I remember thinking my thighs were huge. I don't remember ever being so tired from pushing with either of our other two kids. Dayton kept kissing my head in between pushes and whispering "You're doing great, baby". It was so calming.
I decided ahead of time that I wanted a mirror since I had never seen one of my babies be born, and I didn't want to miss that, since Phoenix would be our last. They were surprised that I had asked, but happy to set one up. Peggy told me to look when she saw Phoenix's head, and I just stared in the mirror saying "Where?". I felt like a moron, but it didn't look anything like I had expected. It didn't take me long to look away from the mirror. That was one thing that didn't make me feel sentimental. At 4:52am, Phoenix Kole made his way out with his umbilical cord around his neck (one more scare for mommy!). He came into the world screaming his little head off, but it was the sweetest screaming I had ever heard. I've never felt such relief in my life. I looked at Dayton and had the most overwhelming feeling of "We did it!". I didn't say anything to him, but I think he felt the same. Dayton got a picture of me holding Phoenix literally RIGHT after he was born. It was the first time I'd let him take pictures like that. They got a picture of Dayton cutting the cord. We had never gotten one of those. They took Phoenix to the bassinet and cleaned him up. They weighed him and took a little blood to make sure he didn't have an infection. He cried for everything except having his blood drawn. He calmed down as soon as he heard his daddy's voice.
They brought him right back to me as soon as they were done. Dayton and I sat staring at him for a few minutes. The nurses checked me. I barely noticed. As soon as all the excitement died down, I asked Dayton to go find me food. My nurse brought me some peanut butter and graham crackers and some juice. I hadn't eaten since lunch time the day before. I was starving. I asked for a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. It took him a little longer than I expected, but when he came back...he had waffle house food. Who can complain about that? We sat together in the hospital bed and ate breakfast together. Phoenix was asleep and it was a sweet few minutes to ourselves. Not long after I ate, I started feeling really sick. I was nauseous and having heart flutters. Can you believe after almost 7 years together, that was the first time he's ever held my hair? And I didn't even end up getting sick. He stayed with me until I was settled in the postpartum room. He made sure I was okay and waited until after the pediatrician checked on Phoenix. After that, I asked him to go get the kids. We decided to let ZoeJane stay home that day so she could come to the hospital and meet her brother.
As soon as they walked in, I heard a loud "Mommy!" from Michael, and before I could turn around good, he was climbing up on the bed with me. ZoeJane was more interested in seeing the baby than she was about seeing me. She asked to hold him as soon as she walked in. It didn't take long for me to have both older kids in the bed with me with their baby brother in the middle, on my lap. At that point, neither one of us had had any decent amount of sleep, but Dayton still stayed with me. Even after I told him to go home and rest, he stayed.
It turned out that because my water had been broken for so long, Phoenix and I had to stay an additional 24 hours. It sucked, but at the same time, I decided to soak it in...because this would be the last time I'd be in the hospital because I had had a baby. This was the last time I'd be in the hospital and be able to look over and see a baby in a bassinet beside my bed. It was the last time I'd be able to do all the newborn stuff alone with Dayton. The worst part was having to be away from my other babies for so long. The best part came on Tuesday night. Dayton had gone home earlier in the day to get some rest. It was silly that I had missed him so much for those few hours, but I did. When he came back, we settled in and watched some tv together. He logged onto babycenter for me and posted a birth announcement. He read my messages to me. Even though I had the chance, I couldn't wind down enough to rest. So finally, he grabbed his computer and came over to the bed and snuggled up with me. He pulled up the newest episode of Jerseylicious that I had missed since I had been in labor the night it was on. We munched on graham crackers and cranberry grape juice. It was the simplest night. But aside from the night I spent laboring, it was the most special night we had had in a long time. I'm not sure that anything could have made it better.
Phoenix Kole was born on Monday, September 26th at 4:52am. He was 7 lbs 4.4 oz and 18.5 inches long. Surprisingly, he had more hair than his brother and sister had at birth, combined. He came in completely healthy and beautiful. He was my earliest baby at 39 weeks, 2 days pregnant. He taught me that one pound doesn't make a difference during labor--it will still hurt. I had never gone into a labor experience as scared as I did this time, but fortunately, Dayton was by my side the whole time and did every single thing he could to make it easier on me. I couldn't have asked for a better birth experience, or a better husband. The whole experience brought us closer, and it made me appreciate him even more (I love you, Dayton! <3)
Happy birthday, Phoenix! Here we go, baby boy! <3
