This is who pro-lifers have on their side?

Neal Horsely.

If you haven't heard the name before, you're going to want to google it after this. I think that people like him are the reason that most people who have neither strong pro-life or pro-choice views end up leaning towards the pro-choice side.

Neal Horsely lives in Carrollton, Georgia. At first glance, he looks like a wooly booger mountain man...but not one that you would be immediately wary of. If you google his name, all sorts of things come up. Most notoriously, he's known for creating the Nuremburg files, an online "hit list" of abortion providers. It has been modified a great deal since it was originally created. A few years ago, you could go online and view the list...it had the names and contact information of abortion providers. When one was taken out, a line would be drawn through the name. Creepy. It was shut down for a while, but through an appeal process was allowed to go back up, under freedom of speech. You may also come across the story of Horsely being arrested for making terroristic threats against Elton John. Yeah. Random. He has also publicly admitted (as in, on FOX NEWS) that as a youngster, he dabbled in a bit of bestiality. Classy.

As if all that weren't enough to give the pro-life movement a bad name, the man works TIRELESSLY on the issue. Which, to be honest, most of the typical pro-lifers do not do. He's even gone so far as to make a pathetic attempt at running for governor (also stating that he would kill his own son, who is a SGT. in the army, if he came to Ga and tried to prevent Neal from being elected...why that would happen is beyond me). He has a YouTube channel that includes a collection of his usually nonsensical rantings (along with a phone number hanging up in the background above him, so that you can call and make a non-tax deductible donation to his cause, or call and discuss the issues with him). Let's just put it this way, if I ever had the chance to interview this guy (which in all honesty, I would love to do just to witness this stuff face to face), I would definitely take precautions. On his facebook page, he says he's fluent in all sorts of Biblical languages. And while he has over 1,000 friends, he seems to comment and interact with them on a regular basis. Most of which, is scripture he's quoting to them regarding the "slavery of abortion" and whatnot.

Now, you also have pro-lifers who have made an impact that seem like honest to God GOOD people. People that you wouldn't mind having lunch with. People like, Operation Rescue's president, Troy Newman. Do I agree with some of his ideas? No. Do I think we could probably sit down and have an intelligent, calm conversation about our differences? Absolutely. I think he's made big changes within Operation Rescue since the days that Randall Terry was it's leader (a whole different blog entry). He's definitely given the pro-life movement a more positive, less fanatical name.

I suppose there are people on both sides of the fence that could scare an unsure person into choosing a side. Randall Terry was enough to make me rethink my pro-life stance. And I'm sure idiots like Kermit Gosnell make people on the pro-choice side rethink their views too (though I think anyone on EITHER side of the debate wouldn't mind seeing him fry). The best part is, it's all up for debate (in a civil, mature, open minded way...we can all live without the narrow minded bs, I think).

Abortion and Morals

Many women say that they could never choose abortion for themselves. Many say that no woman ever should choose abortion for any reason whatsoever. Even more men say the same. However, until you are actually in the position to consider it for medical, financial, or emotional reasons...you will never know. How can I say that? Because I've been in the position to consider it. And I was as hardcore pro-life as they come. Needless to say, I didn't go through with it, nor do I think I ever could. It's a choice that I support, but it's a choice that isn't for me.

But here is the bigger issue in my mind. Many women say that it's wrong morally. That you're taking a life, playing God, causing an innocent child needless pain. Okay, let's look at this. No matter what side of the fence you're on, it's pretty obvious to everyone that abortion is, in fact, the taking of a life, or at least the potential for life. We all know it.

Some will say that by terminating a pregnancy, you are playing God. I can see how someone could think that. I understand it. But maybe that's not the way to look at it. After all, God is the one who has given us the technology to monitor our pregnancies, the freedom of choice to make the best decisions we can, and the science to do such procedures. And if this is the stance you're taking, wouldn't the same logic apply to taking a brain dead patient off of life support? Wouldn't that be considered playing God, as well?

And finally, it's painful for the child. Well, anyone in the medical field will tell you that in order for an unborn child to feel pain, a number of things need to be in order. For example, the brain has to be fully functional. The neuro system has to be developed enough to identify pain and send the signals to the brain. That isn't happening at 8 weeks pregnant. Do I think that at some point an unborn child can feel pain? Absolutely. Now, what if your child is already suffering? For example, I came across a story of a couple who were pregnant with a MUCH wanted baby, only to find out in the third trimester that their child had brittle bone disease. He already had broken bones all throughout his little body. If she would have delivered him vaginally, he would have been literally crushed to death in the birth canal. And a c-section was out of the question because she had a bad case of pre-eclampsia. The only option they had was to have an injection of potassium inserted into the baby's heart to stop it and induce labor. The baby was already suffering immensely. How painful is one broken bone to a grown man (not to mention, without pain medication)? Can you imagine a baby having bones broken all throughout its body with no pain medication? Sometimes it really is a no win situation.

My point is, no girl grows up looking forward to the day that she can terminate a pregnancy. No woman thinks "Hey, I think I'll wait until the 7th month to terminate this pregnancy". Who wants to go through that? No one. I read a quote from some pro-choice activist/abortionist once (I can't remember her name) that said "Women have abortions because they want to be good mothers", and for the most part...I believe that to be true.

When it's time to let go...

How do you let go of something that's hurt you for so long? How do you put aside any hurt or anger that's left over? When you're tired of dealing with it, and ready to get past it, how do you take those first few steps?

For me, it was deleting the "stalker account" I had on facebook to check out "the other woman". After a year, I never had the answers I needed. I was no closer to getting the guts to ask her my questions. And frankly, it was killing me. I don't know if I'll ever have the answers that I want so badly. I don't know if I'll ever be completely over it. But at this point, I've got to try. If not, it will eventually eat me alive.

So when was it time for you to let go? What did you do to make those first few steps?

As if a miscarriage isn't traumatic enough for a woman...

Let's start investigating every single woman in Georgia who has a miscarriage outside of a medical facility (because so many miscarriages just happen to occur while you're sitting at the doctor's office). Let's investigate her, the pregnancy, and the miscarriage to make sure that she didn't induce an abortion. Some idiot (House Republican Bobby Franklin) is trying to pass a bill (HB 1) that requires all miscarriages to be investigated by authorities. It would require all miscarriages that occur outside of the presence of medical staff to be investigated. Though the bill does give you the opportunity to pass the baby at home or wherever you are, and then RUSH to the hospital (if it's determined that you waited, boy are you in trouble...). ARE YOU KIDDING ME? First of all, women have always been able to choose whether or not to pass a lost baby naturally or by D&C (surgical removal). This would pretty much eliminate a mother's right to choose to keep this private matter at home. I'd like to mention, many women who choose to pass the babies at home are pro-life and prefer the baby be passed naturally than having it torn from her womb via D&C. So basically Bobby, you're screwing part of the movement that you feel so strongly about--the pro-life movement.

So now, not only is a woman's right to choose abortion a crime in the eyes of pro-life politicians, but apparently, a miscarriage as well? Nice.

Marriage: What does it mean to you?

This is a question that I find interesting. Marriage means so many different things to different people. Before I was married, when I thought about it, my idea of "marriage" was partnership. It meant never having to feel alone, work through things alone, or take care of things alone. It meant...togetherness. It meant never having to worry about your partner tearing you down, or trying to make your accomplishments seem like nothing. Obviously, different people have different ideas on what marriage should be.

Over the years, with friends getting married and coming across different couples from all walks of life...it's obvious the the idea sits on a wiiiiiiide range. For instance, it has amazed me that some people find it perfectly acceptable to keep up with their, ahem, "extra curricular" activities. Or, that some men are still so stuck in 1952, that they expect their wives to handle the household duties and children on their own, while still managing to look nice and wait on them hand and foot. Helloooo, June Cleaver called. She wants her home life back. Annnnd, you can have it, June.

I think when it comes down to it, the varying ideas of marriage are what leads to so many divorces. I mean, who goes into a marriage thinking "Man! I can't wait to get divorced!"? No one that I know. I just think that so many couples abandon this vital question before taking the plunge. Result? Unhappy marriage. Eventual divorce. No fun for anyone.

So what does marriage mean to you? If you're married, are you and your spouse on the same page? If you're not married, is not finding someone who shares your idea keeping you from taking the plunge?

The "other" woman (or man)

Typical story. Spouse cheats. Spouse finds out. Eruption. Steps of acceptance. And often these days, reconciliation. Every person in the world will tell you "If my husband/wife ever cheated on me, I'd be gone in a second". It's bullshit. Nobody knows what they'll do until they're in the position to have to handle it.

The question (or questions) is: For the spouses who choose to stay, how do you move on? Is it consuming? Was it easy to forgive and forget? Did you meet the other person? How has it played out for you?

From what I've gathered, most spouses who have chosen to stay, don't regret it. Many are able to pick up the pieces and move on. Some, of course, stick to their guns and are out the door the second they hear the words. Personally, I actually know of more who have stayed. But, to each their own.

Um, excuse me Mother Nature...I'm supposed to be GLOWING...

Yeah, right. Here I am, 16 weeks into my third pregnancy. Not only do I feel like a big ball of hormones, but nothing about my body is cute right now. The only "glow" I've got is the glare from the light shining off my pregnancy acne. That adorable baby belly that I had with Michael? Ha. I've transitioned to fat cow with this pregnancy. And what the hell is up with getting a new beauty mark on my boobs with every pregnancy? Could someone explain that to me please? With my first pregnancy (ZoeJane), I didn't have a single ache or pain until after 8 months. With the second (Michael), it started feeling like I had a broken pelvis at around six months. I could barely walk. This time, my lower back is killing me. The hip widening has started WAY early. And frankly, I can barely keep my eyes open. I feel confident in saying that I would not survive a fourth pregnancy. 

Let's just hope this doesn't get any uglier...

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

This statement has been ringing true more and more lately. Particularly when it comes to dealing with all the emotions that this little 2 year "anniversary" has brought up. For example, I write a long novel of a note explaining how I feel and why I'm hormonal...my husband never acknowledges it and eventually chooses the movie Hall Pass for our nightly "adult time". Yes. I'm devastated about a separation/one night stand and you want to watch a movie about men taking a week off of marriage to bang anything with a vagina. That's a hell of a way to deal with your feelings (wait, are you sure you've got any of those?!). Women cry. Men choose inappropriate movies at the worst possible time and can't figure out why we're not into them. Yeah, that makes sense.

It's no secret that men deal with their emotions (even with the same situations we're emotional about) seriously differently...but do you ever wonder if they're really just dealing differently as opposed to just not giving a shit? I can't say this thought hasn't crossed my mind, oh, every other day. But my logical side keeps saying "he just deals differently!". Funny. That's what he says too. And I refuse to believe that my husband is my logical side. Unacceptable.

So what is it that your husband or boyfriend does to make you wonder if there really is life on other planets (and if you're significant other truly is one of these unearthly creatures)?? Let's hear it!

2 years and counting...

Anyone who is friends with Dayton or me knows what happened in 2009. It was traumatic, to say the least. And yet, here we are, two years later doing better than ever. See, we knew going into this marriage that it would be hard. At 18 and 20, we had everyone and their uncles telling us not to do it. Once, I even had a nurse tell me all about her horrible first marriage once she found out I was getting married. Needless to say, we got married anyway.

What happened two years ago surprised me. In fact, it felt like I was having the world ripped out from underneath me. Good things came of it...but it was hard. I couldn't begin to fathom how I was going to take care of a 2 year old, carry a healthy pregnancy to term (and take care of another baby), work, and finish school all on my own. I managed. I managed to be a good mom to ZoeJane, take care of the pregnancy that I was carrying, stay in school, and find a job. All of that with a broken heart was not easy. In fact, it became easier to be angry than to be hurt. I didn't have time for hurt. I didn't have the patience for hurt. I didn't want the hurt. In all honesty, I still carry a little bit of that anger and a lot of that hurt. It's hard not to. I suppose it's inevitable. You pick up these little lessons throughout life, many of which come with the hurt or the anger (usually both), and while those lessons change you...it seems a lot of the hurt and the anger become part of you too. It's a vicious cycle.

I'm pretty sure I'll spend the next few years trying to rid myself of it completely.

Assisted Suicide

Not too long ago, I came across a documentary on HBO (Call me a nerd, I love them). The documentary, Kevorkian, got me thinking. It was a detailed account of the case of Dr. Kevorkian and the whole idea of assisted suicide. Where do you stand on this issue? I cannot honestly think of one reason that a competent, suffering adult should not be able to make this choice. Who would want to suffer pointlessly? And why shouldn't we give them the choice to end their suffering if there's no hope anyway? The thing that bothers me the most about this issue is that we will euthanize our pets to put them out of their misery and end their suffering, but we don't extend that same courtesy to our neighbors, family members, and friends?

Let me be really clear on this issue, though. I do think that there should be rules in place for these circumstances. I do not think that children should be able to make this decision. Nor do I think anyone suffering from mental issues along with their disease should be able to make this decision. Often, a disease can affect the mind causing a person to be unstable, and therefore, unable to make such a decision. Finally, I do not think that assisted suicide should be an option available to anyone that has the slightest chance of recovery.

Here's a look at the current assisted suicide laws by state:

• Currently, 34 states have laws in place that criminalize assisted suicide. My home state, Georgia, being one of them. In fact, there's been a case involving members of the Final Exit Network assisting in a suicide here for the last couple of years. The case seems to be going nowhere fast. 
• Nine states have criminalized assisted suicide through common law.
• Three states have abolished the common law of crimes and do not have statues criminalizing assisted suicide.
• Ohio's state supreme court ruled that assisted suicide was not a crime in 1996.
• Virginia has no real clear law concerning assisted suicide.
• Oregon and Washington are the only states that allow physician-assisted suicide. 

What are your thoughts on this issue? I think this might have a better chance of striking a chord with you if you've had to watch someone you love suffer. However, some people's moral beliefs rule their thoughts on this issue. Regardless, it's definitely something to think about.

Like The Souvenir on Facebook!

The Souvenir is now on Facebook! Very exciting. You can like us here or look us up on Facebook. By all means, share with your friends! I'll be posting updates on facebook, as I update the blog. Blog topics, comments, polls, etc can be seen there. It should be fun!

Moms in the workplace?

I'll be the first to admit that in 2009, I loved working outside of the house. Was it stressful? Yes. Exhausting? Of course. However, I think it is so important for women to have something for themselves away from their husbands and children. Not only can you make your own money (which may or may not be important for some women and couples), but it 1, it gets you out of the house. 2, If you spend the first 18 years of your child's life completely wrapped up in them and what they're doing...you're going to be lost when the time comes for them to leave the nest. 3, Who wouldn't love some adult interaction and time away from the laundry, toilet scrubbing, runny noses, and dirty diapers for at least a few hours a week? Talk about a way to maintain your sanity.

The thing is, while I love my babies and spending time with them...I never went into marriage or motherhood wanting to be a stay at home mom. Yes, it has ended up that way. But that was never the intent (clearly I was one of those people who severely underestimated how paranoid I'd be about other people watching my children and the cost of childcare). However, I've been working towards my degree, which will eventually land me a job good enough to keep me happy (most important) and pay for childcare (if necessary). I've always wanted a life outside of the house. And I think this is a very important lesson for my daughter (or daughters if this new bean turns out to be a girl). I've never thought that it was healthy for a girl to grow up thinking that her place is in the home-no ifs, ands, or buts. A girl needs to grow up knowing that she really can do anything she wants...anything that she wants enough to work for. So, in working towards a degree (even if a little late), I think I'm not only working towards making a life for myself, but also planting a seed for my children.

What are your thoughts on working with children at home? What route have you chosen? Do you have plans to change it?

Planned Parenthood

Holy hell. Do half of the people who are talking shit about PP know anything about the organization? "They offer abortions!", "They're the largest provider of abortions in the world!". Yes, they offer abortions. Guess what, so do most of your local hospitals. Are they the largest provider of abortions in the world? Yes. They're also the largest birth control center chain in the world, so yes, of course they are the biggest provider of abortions. Do all clinics do surgical abortion (i.e, suction aspiration abortion, D & E)? Most provide the abortion pill (a pill given at up to 9 weeks to terminate a pregnancy). Some provide abortion referrals. Some provide nothing in the way of abortion.

Let's cover what all of them do provide:

-Birth control services
-Emergency Contraception (as in the morning-after pill, NOT to be confused with the abortion pill. This pill does not terminate an existing pregnancy)
-HIV Testing
-Men's health services
-STD testing and treatment
-Women's health care services (routine gyno services)

Now, in my home state (Georgia), there are 5 Planned Parenthood centers. Four of these centers offer abortion services. One of these four offers surgical abortion (up to 16 weeks). The other three offer the abortion pill. You'd be surprised to find out that the one office that offers surgical abortions is not in Atlanta. It's in Augusta. Funny, since in the pro-life documentary, Blood Money, they STRONGLY focus on the PP office that's located in downtown Atlanta, right by Morehouse College. Even funnier: This is the one PP office in Ga that does not offer any type of abortion service. Do your research, morons.

It basically comes down to this, why are you so worried about defunding Planned Parenthood because many of them do abortions? Why aren't you looking at the bigger picture? Why aren't you looking at all the low-cost (and sometimes free) birth control that's provided to girls and women who can't afford it elsewhere? Why aren't you looking at the STD testing and treatment? Would you rather men and women go untested and spread STD's all over the place? Many people use Planned Parenthood because they cannot afford services elsewhere. NEWSFLASH AMERICA: HEALTH CARE ISN'T CHEAP! Why isn't anyone trying to defund city hospitals? Grady Memorial Hospital in downtown Atlanta is not only known to do abortions, but also known for women dying from them. Hm. I realize that there is always a risk with any medical procedure. But why aren't the big wigs looking at stuff like this? Anyone who thinks that a hospital wouldn't perform abortions (even if only in extreme, life or death cases) has lost their minds. Why aren't we working towards defunding public hospitals?

Nobody wants to have an abortion. No little girl or little boy grows up saying things like "I can't wait until I get to have an abortion!" or "Man, I can't wait until my girl friend gets pregnant so we can go to the abortion clinic!". Abortion is just a part of life, whether its legal or not. Is defunding PP really worth causing such a rift that it freezes our military's pay? No. Guess what. If the government shuts down, Planned Parenthood will still be operating.

Versatile Blogger Award

Lots of thanks to Tanya M, out of Reno (from the ::Pieces of Me:: blog...sorry I don't know how to link things just yet, lol) for giving me my very first blogging award (all in pure fun!), the Versatile Blogger Award. This excited me more than you know, and thanks for thinking of me, doll face! The award comes with rules. And they are:

-Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post (if I can figure it out!)

-Spill 7 things about yourself

-Award 15 other recently discovered bloggers (I don't know if I read that many blogs!)

-Contact these bloggers and let them know they've received the award

My Seven Facts
1. I am terrified of flying. I've only flown twice (to and from), and just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt.

2. Is currently in school for psychology. I'm hoping to become a counselor specializing in teens and women's issues.

3. I'm married to a Marine. Hoorah!

4. My daughter was named after a Staind song

5. My guilty pleasures are Jerseylicious (NOT to be confused with Jersey Shore, good lord) and Teen Mom

6. I LOVE Britney Spears...saw her Circus tour in Atlanta in September 2009....when I was 7 months pregnant, lol

7. I can hold a grudge like nobody's business


I'd of course like to award the Versatile Blogger award BACK to Tanya at http://tanyaphotography-piecesofme.blogspot.com/

Also on my list are:

Bury Me Where I Fall at http://bury-me-where-i-fall.blogspot.com/

The Abortioneers at http://abortioneers.blogspot.com/

Terminations for Medical Reasons at http://tfmrinthemedia.blogspot.com/

I realize this is 9 blogs shy, but these are the ones I read...these are the ones I find worth reading. Hope you stop by and check them out!

Thanks again, Tanya! <3

24 Years.....young?

I'll be honest. This birthday is going to sting a little bit. I always feel like "I'm __ years old and I've done nothing with my life!". Of course I've maintained a marriage for almost 6 years. Yes, I have two beautiful children with another on the way. But what have I done for myself? I'm in school...but I should have started a long time ago. Oh well, let's see how 24 goes. Let's hope it's a good year. I guess I'll know in the morning, lol.

Meanwhile, who is less than thrilled about this whole government shut down ordeal? Yeah. No military pay? It's bullshit. And I cannot begin to tell you how upset I am that all of this comes down to Planned Parenthood funding! Okay, let me just say that I've been researching the world of abortion for over a year now. I went into it strongly pro-life. I checked out Planned Parenthood. Do they provide abortions? Of course. Do all of them provide abortions? Absolutely not. Some provide the abortion pill. Some provide the pill, along with first trimester abortions. A very few of them provide second trimester abortions. ALL of them provide birth control, sex education, STD testing, gynecological care (a very necessary service for women), among other things...at very often, DISCOUNTED prices. And really, we're going to shut down the United States government over this? We're going to take away military pay over this? Are we going to take away funding for city hospitals? Many of these provide abortions. Many don't. But hell, some do...so let's cut off funding to all of them. I'm not saying that shady things don't happen in some PPs. Of course they do. Shady things are happening in our government offices. Shady things happen everywhere. That comes anytime peoples are involved. That doesn't come just because of a company name.

On one last note for this post...tomorrow is my birthday. That also means that it is only 5 days from being 2 years since "the incident". I've been having a really hard time with this the last week or so. Maybe it's harder this year because I'm pregnant. I'll admit, I'm a big ball of hormones. But shit, is it ever going to go away? Two years later and it still haunts me. I thought it'd be over and done with by now. It doesn't still hurt as bad as it did. It still aches...but at the same time, I feel numb about it. Is it possible to be hurt and angry and numb all at the same time? Can we say...HORMONES?

Siblings, or lack thereof..

So, my older sister and I talk pretty regularly. Even if we don't talk on the phone (HATE talking on the phone), we text a lot. One of my brothers (Chris) hasn't talked to me since my sister and I had a falling out early last summer. Pretty ironic since he's the most mature one in the family...yet he chooses sides and plays favorites without getting both sides of the story. I've tried contacting my other brother (Andy) a few times in the last couple of months, lol. First, I texted him a picture of my ultrasound last month. The next day I got the following reply "I don't get pictures or downloads". I replied and told him it was just an ultrasound picture. No reply. Last week (maybe the week before) I texted him to tell him happy birthday. No reply. But wouldn't you know he is taking his family to see my sister's family and their new baby this weekend. Funny. He has no interest in my kids. After both of mine were born, the only reason he saw them is because we happened to be at my sister's house the same time he was. Isn't it also funny that Chris and his wife are visiting my sister in May...from Texas. It's bullshit. It's obnoxious. And most of all, it's hypocritical. The may reason behind them not talking to me is because I had the audacity to get back together with my husband and work things out (How dare I!). I'm way too hormonal for this. I don't know why people even bother telling me stuff about them. It's just hurtful.

Looooots and lots of updates...

So, Dayton has his third surgery on Thursday (third time's a charm, I hope!). It went well, and only took half the time that the others did. This dr seemed to know what he was doing...let's hope it works.

Friday morning, Dayton's Great Grandma died. She was 101. The toughest old bird I've ever met. She push mowed her own lawn until her dr insisted that she stop at age 96. She was pissed. I feel like shit that I didn't want to make the trip up there last month. I just wasn't up to the trip. It's exhausting when I'm NOT pregnant. I tried to talk him into going to the funeral...I told him if he wanted to go, I'd drive. But he doesn't think he can do it.

This weekend an old friend came to visit. We had fun. Of course, I couldn't leave Dayton...so we just sat around shooting the shit, then she hung out with another old friend, and then we all watched Paranormal Activity last night. Am I the only one who was utterly terrified the first time I saw that movie? It wasn't too bad this time, until the ending...that still scared the hell out of me.

Meanwhile, my second baby appointment is on Thursday. It's the really fun appointment with all the tests and bloodwork...woo (note sarcasm)! Then SATURDAY is my birthday. *gag* Can I just comment on how old I feel? Olllllllld...almost a quarter of a century old...and I feel like I've done nothing with my life. How depressing.