In Albuquerque, NM, there is a doctor who is one of only a handful (we're talking 3 who are "open" about their profession) who provides late term abortions. Southwestern Women's Options is the office of Dr. Curtis Boyd. He performs abortions up to 24 weeks (appx. the 6th month of pregnancy). I've never done much research on him (compared to the amount I've done on Dr. Tiller), but of what I have read...one thing always stands out to me. His openness, his honesty, and his refusal to offer an apology for the work he does. In one interview, he says "Am I killing? Yes. I know that". His honesty is almost bone chilling, while at the same time...refreshing (Don't get your panties in a wad. I'm not saying that late term abortions are refreshing. I'm simply referring to the man's brutal honesty). In the same interview, he states that he is also an ordained Baptist minister. Shocker. He goes on to say that he prays about the abortions he does, and asks that God accepts them back with love and understanding. And finally, he says that due to terrible circumstances, he has had to do abortions on girls as young as 9 and 10 years old. Unnerving, but a brutal reality of the world we live in. It goes without saying that the man is a main target of the pro-life movement and has received more death threats than he has time to sit down and count.
This man is probably the only minister you will find that admits to not only supporting abortions, but also performs them. This thought of this alone astounds me. Who knew that one could believe in and love God, but also support abortion? Did you ever think you'd live to see such a thing? If you ask me, I say we could use more with a mind as open as his. The man is willing to say things out loud that many don't even have the guts to admit to themselves. What if we all lived with such honesty? What if we were all willing to speak up about what we really believe in...and not just go along with what we were taught? What if we were all willing to defy our traditions? Oh, what a world we would live in.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Stress, contractions, and "The plan"
We (well, I) have a plan. You know, like a "life plan". There are things I want to accomplish for my children, and for me. The plan isn't going so well these days. First, my school screwed me over (again...way to go), but this time...we did a little digging. Turns out, they've been taking money off of my financial aid. There are small amounts missing here and there, and then larger amounts...$300 here...another $100 there. So, of course, my financial aid hasn't been covering my tuition. This has resulted in them blocking me from classes (online classes). I'm in the process of trying to transfer, but it is just that: a process. As if I wasn't far enough behind (about 3 terms) from the separation in 2009...this is just peachy. That's stress enough in itself.
And as usual, bills are biting us in the ass. We've been down sizing and though it's helping...there are things we CAN'T really downsize on (I'm not up for being Amish). It seems like no matter what we do, we just can't get ahead.
And then there's Phoenix's grand arrival. Don't get me wrong...I can't wait to get my hands on this sweet boy. I'm even more excited to introduce him to his big sister and big brother. BUT, I'm getting so stressed about the labor. I'm worried that we're not going to make it to the hospital in time between him being #3 and us having to get the kids somewhere. I'm worried the labor isn't going to go the way I want it to (or even close to how I want it to). I'm worried about the drama that will ensue because people are going to end up disappointed. It is impossible. No matter how I work the details, someone will be pissed. I think I've already made it MORE than clear that Dayton will be the only one in the room. There is always drama about that one--regardless of how "clear" I make it. Now, I'm pretty sure there will be drama as to how I handle the older kids this time. For example, ZoeJane will not be leaving town to stay with anyone, as she'll be in school. As if pregnancy, labor and delivery isn't stressful enough....there's always someone there to kill it.
On top of all of this nonsense, I've been having braxton hicks like a biotch lately. Last night they lasted a good 2 hours. They eventually let up, but now they're back at it again....I'm assuming as a result of me trying desperately to keep my mind off things by keeping busy. Yay.
And as usual, bills are biting us in the ass. We've been down sizing and though it's helping...there are things we CAN'T really downsize on (I'm not up for being Amish). It seems like no matter what we do, we just can't get ahead.
And then there's Phoenix's grand arrival. Don't get me wrong...I can't wait to get my hands on this sweet boy. I'm even more excited to introduce him to his big sister and big brother. BUT, I'm getting so stressed about the labor. I'm worried that we're not going to make it to the hospital in time between him being #3 and us having to get the kids somewhere. I'm worried the labor isn't going to go the way I want it to (or even close to how I want it to). I'm worried about the drama that will ensue because people are going to end up disappointed. It is impossible. No matter how I work the details, someone will be pissed. I think I've already made it MORE than clear that Dayton will be the only one in the room. There is always drama about that one--regardless of how "clear" I make it. Now, I'm pretty sure there will be drama as to how I handle the older kids this time. For example, ZoeJane will not be leaving town to stay with anyone, as she'll be in school. As if pregnancy, labor and delivery isn't stressful enough....there's always someone there to kill it.
On top of all of this nonsense, I've been having braxton hicks like a biotch lately. Last night they lasted a good 2 hours. They eventually let up, but now they're back at it again....I'm assuming as a result of me trying desperately to keep my mind off things by keeping busy. Yay.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Summer of Mercy 2.0, Update
Unfortunately, I can't find a whole lot of news outlets that are reporting on this. I realize abortion is a touchy subject for both sides, but I hate the idea that that keeps the news from covering it. It is such a big issue in our country.
Anyway, the second Summer of Mercy (deemed Summer of Mercy, 2.0) has been going on outside of Leroy Carhart's clinic in Germantown, Maryland. Before it started, Dr. Carhart decided it was best to close the clinic during the protests. You can't really blame him when you consider patient privacy and safety. HOWEVER, it looks as though Operation Rescue has decided to extend their "events" because Carhart has kept the clinic closed for the week. I can't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, Dr. Carhart is letting them win in a way. While I certainly understand the concerns of keeping the clinic open during the protest, Operation Rescue doesn't seem to care why it's being shut down...as long as the doors are closed.
It's sad, really. You would think in the year 2011, with all the awful things going on in the world, we could look past our differences and hear each other out on this issue. Abortion really isn't a black and white issue, regardless of what side of the fence you're on. I've said it once and I'll say it again---no woman WANTS to have an abortion. No woman plans on it. But as we all know, life happens. This is when it's the most important for all of us to let our guards down and just LISTEN. Besides, if you're a Christian...judgement and hate isn't on your agenda, right?
Anyway, the second Summer of Mercy (deemed Summer of Mercy, 2.0) has been going on outside of Leroy Carhart's clinic in Germantown, Maryland. Before it started, Dr. Carhart decided it was best to close the clinic during the protests. You can't really blame him when you consider patient privacy and safety. HOWEVER, it looks as though Operation Rescue has decided to extend their "events" because Carhart has kept the clinic closed for the week. I can't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, Dr. Carhart is letting them win in a way. While I certainly understand the concerns of keeping the clinic open during the protest, Operation Rescue doesn't seem to care why it's being shut down...as long as the doors are closed.
It's sad, really. You would think in the year 2011, with all the awful things going on in the world, we could look past our differences and hear each other out on this issue. Abortion really isn't a black and white issue, regardless of what side of the fence you're on. I've said it once and I'll say it again---no woman WANTS to have an abortion. No woman plans on it. But as we all know, life happens. This is when it's the most important for all of us to let our guards down and just LISTEN. Besides, if you're a Christian...judgement and hate isn't on your agenda, right?
Friday, August 5, 2011
It's not secret that my children are my life. It's been that way since the day we found out ZoeJane was on her way. I always felt so lucky to be carrying a little life inside of me. Three pregnancies later, it still feels that way.
We were not planning to start our family so soon after we got married. We had been married for 5 months when I found out I was pregnant with ZoeJane. Even when I went and bought the test and took it, I was still surprised to get a positive result. See, I was the type that was always paranoid about being pregnant. It was like a bi-monthly thing. I had gone grocery shopping and bought one, just to make sure. It wasn't an immediate result. In fact, I was just thinking to myself "I can't believe I keep wasting money on these things". I had picked it up to toss it in the trash when I noticed a faint second line had shown itself. Needless to say, I didn't put the rest of the groceries away. I jumped in the car, test in hand, and drove across base (as slowly and calmly as I could considering their strict speed limits) to tell Dayton. I walked in, signed in (while the guy at the desk was giving me crap and telling me I looked like I had just seen a ghost...) and walked back to his office. I opened the door and looked at his desk--of course he wasn't there. About the time I wanted to start freaking out, he came around the corner, spit cup in hand. I didn't say anything. "Hey! What's up? What are you doing here?".....I still couldn't say anything. I'm pretty sure that by then, my eyes were as big as melons. He stood there staring at me, waiting for me to say something. Finally I managed to nod my head. He started nodding back with a "?" on his face...then he started nodding a little faster. "Yeah? YEAH? Are you sure?"...It was at that point I managed a "yeah". He left work early and came home to be with me. We were ecstatic, shocked, and a little nervous. We cuddled for the rest of the afternoon.
With Michael, we started trying on the night of ZoeJane's second birthday. I was sad every month after when I realized I wasn't pregnant. Finally, we decided to take one of our sporadic trips to Michigan (with a stop in Kentucky to see Dayton's little brother graduate from boot camp). I had been thinking that maybe this was the month. So after the graduation and a family lunch, we made a stop at a local Walmart (in BFE Kentucky..) and I ran in to grab a magazine for the trip, some snacks, and a pregnancy test. There was no waiting until we got to Michigan. I took the test in the Walmart bathroom. The result was pretty immediate, and I had to fight the urge to hug the little old lady that was standing at the sink and tell her my good news. Somehow, I managed to pull it together and tuck the test back in the bag. I stepped outside and Dayton pulled up the front door to get me. I got in as calmly as I could (I think I played it pretty well) and told him I got him something. He asked what it was, I took out the test, and laid it on the console. It was a movie moment. Anyone who knows my husband knows how standoffish he can be...how unenthusiastic and tough he can seem. He melted. He had the biggest smile and gave me the biggest hug. We both even managed to shed a few tears over it.
Finally, with Phoenix...we were actually planning to NOT have a baby until I was done with school (another two years). With a looming medical discharge, school, and two small kids at home...we thought another two years would be the perfect timing to add the finishing touch to our little family. But no. Phoenix Cole decided he didn't want to wait that long. I wasn't really worried until I went to put on a loose t-shirt and almost jumped out of my skin (gotta love first trimester boob pain). I got a test a few days later. I was a little nervous before I took it, as this was SO not the plan. But we went out to eat, then went to Target. I got a 12 pk of coke and a test. On my way out, I found another 12 pk of Mountain Dew that had been left on the bottom of a cart. I should have known right then. It was such a random, "out there" thing...I should have known that a surprise pregnancy would present itself that day, lol. I might add that since I figured this may be the last test I ever took...I splurged and bought the two pack of the fancy digital tests. Yeah, because I'm a nerd. So we come home, get the kids settled and Dayton hops on his computer while I go take the test. I'm pretty sure he thought I was just being paranoid. So, the little hour glass that flashes on the digital screen flashed twice before it came back with "pregnant". I sat there for a good couple of minutes before I called him into the bathroom. I was freaked. Happy, of course. But this wasn't the plan...and I am such a plan-oriented person, it was enough to have me spooked. When he came in the bathroom, I handed him the test. He says "Cool!" and then couldn't figure out why I was so freaked. It didn't take long for the shock to wear off before I started wrapping my head around the fact that we were about to add to our little brood.
Each pregnancy has been so special in it's own little way. With ZoeJane, it was so exciting because here we were, just a couple of kids (really, like going on 19 and 21) who were about to start their family--their legacy. With Michael, it was the conscious choice for us to keep building on that little foundation. It was everything we went through during the pregnancy thought brought us closer together. And with Phoenix, it's making the choice to complete our little family. It's the idea that the Kline family is going to be complete, with Dayton and I, a beautiful little girl and two sweet little boys. It's so exciting to think about. Each one has been a blessing of epic proportions. Each baby has reflected something different, a different stage in our lives and our marriage. And now here we are, with a little girl who is about to start school. And she's so smart, it's scary. I see a lot of my attitude in her, and it's a battle deciding whether to laugh at it or be annoyed. She's also taken on my caretaker complex. She's the little mom. She wants to take care of Michael. She'll want to take care of Phoenix too. There isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't love on her mommy and daddy and let us know how much she loves us. She makes our days brighter. Michael, is our little love bug. He's got such a soft heart and worries so much if he thinks something isn't right. He'll cuddle for hours, for no reason at all. And oh my goodness, the performers that we have! They are both so big on entertaining. Michael is so funny, while ZoeJane has a strong flair for the dramatics. I'm so excited to meet Phoenix and learn his little personality.
Each pregnancy has had it's own challenges, it's own scares. Each one has been special in a way that I cannot put into words. And there has always been something special about how things are between Dayton and I when we're expecting a baby, that ends up leaving us a little stronger than we were before.
Mommyhood isn't something I would trade for anything in the world. And while I fully intend on embarking on a career outside of the home within the next few years, I think the time I've spent with my babies will make a difference. I know it has for me. <3
We were not planning to start our family so soon after we got married. We had been married for 5 months when I found out I was pregnant with ZoeJane. Even when I went and bought the test and took it, I was still surprised to get a positive result. See, I was the type that was always paranoid about being pregnant. It was like a bi-monthly thing. I had gone grocery shopping and bought one, just to make sure. It wasn't an immediate result. In fact, I was just thinking to myself "I can't believe I keep wasting money on these things". I had picked it up to toss it in the trash when I noticed a faint second line had shown itself. Needless to say, I didn't put the rest of the groceries away. I jumped in the car, test in hand, and drove across base (as slowly and calmly as I could considering their strict speed limits) to tell Dayton. I walked in, signed in (while the guy at the desk was giving me crap and telling me I looked like I had just seen a ghost...) and walked back to his office. I opened the door and looked at his desk--of course he wasn't there. About the time I wanted to start freaking out, he came around the corner, spit cup in hand. I didn't say anything. "Hey! What's up? What are you doing here?".....I still couldn't say anything. I'm pretty sure that by then, my eyes were as big as melons. He stood there staring at me, waiting for me to say something. Finally I managed to nod my head. He started nodding back with a "?" on his face...then he started nodding a little faster. "Yeah? YEAH? Are you sure?"...It was at that point I managed a "yeah". He left work early and came home to be with me. We were ecstatic, shocked, and a little nervous. We cuddled for the rest of the afternoon.
With Michael, we started trying on the night of ZoeJane's second birthday. I was sad every month after when I realized I wasn't pregnant. Finally, we decided to take one of our sporadic trips to Michigan (with a stop in Kentucky to see Dayton's little brother graduate from boot camp). I had been thinking that maybe this was the month. So after the graduation and a family lunch, we made a stop at a local Walmart (in BFE Kentucky..) and I ran in to grab a magazine for the trip, some snacks, and a pregnancy test. There was no waiting until we got to Michigan. I took the test in the Walmart bathroom. The result was pretty immediate, and I had to fight the urge to hug the little old lady that was standing at the sink and tell her my good news. Somehow, I managed to pull it together and tuck the test back in the bag. I stepped outside and Dayton pulled up the front door to get me. I got in as calmly as I could (I think I played it pretty well) and told him I got him something. He asked what it was, I took out the test, and laid it on the console. It was a movie moment. Anyone who knows my husband knows how standoffish he can be...how unenthusiastic and tough he can seem. He melted. He had the biggest smile and gave me the biggest hug. We both even managed to shed a few tears over it.
Finally, with Phoenix...we were actually planning to NOT have a baby until I was done with school (another two years). With a looming medical discharge, school, and two small kids at home...we thought another two years would be the perfect timing to add the finishing touch to our little family. But no. Phoenix Cole decided he didn't want to wait that long. I wasn't really worried until I went to put on a loose t-shirt and almost jumped out of my skin (gotta love first trimester boob pain). I got a test a few days later. I was a little nervous before I took it, as this was SO not the plan. But we went out to eat, then went to Target. I got a 12 pk of coke and a test. On my way out, I found another 12 pk of Mountain Dew that had been left on the bottom of a cart. I should have known right then. It was such a random, "out there" thing...I should have known that a surprise pregnancy would present itself that day, lol. I might add that since I figured this may be the last test I ever took...I splurged and bought the two pack of the fancy digital tests. Yeah, because I'm a nerd. So we come home, get the kids settled and Dayton hops on his computer while I go take the test. I'm pretty sure he thought I was just being paranoid. So, the little hour glass that flashes on the digital screen flashed twice before it came back with "pregnant". I sat there for a good couple of minutes before I called him into the bathroom. I was freaked. Happy, of course. But this wasn't the plan...and I am such a plan-oriented person, it was enough to have me spooked. When he came in the bathroom, I handed him the test. He says "Cool!" and then couldn't figure out why I was so freaked. It didn't take long for the shock to wear off before I started wrapping my head around the fact that we were about to add to our little brood.
Each pregnancy has been so special in it's own little way. With ZoeJane, it was so exciting because here we were, just a couple of kids (really, like going on 19 and 21) who were about to start their family--their legacy. With Michael, it was the conscious choice for us to keep building on that little foundation. It was everything we went through during the pregnancy thought brought us closer together. And with Phoenix, it's making the choice to complete our little family. It's the idea that the Kline family is going to be complete, with Dayton and I, a beautiful little girl and two sweet little boys. It's so exciting to think about. Each one has been a blessing of epic proportions. Each baby has reflected something different, a different stage in our lives and our marriage. And now here we are, with a little girl who is about to start school. And she's so smart, it's scary. I see a lot of my attitude in her, and it's a battle deciding whether to laugh at it or be annoyed. She's also taken on my caretaker complex. She's the little mom. She wants to take care of Michael. She'll want to take care of Phoenix too. There isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't love on her mommy and daddy and let us know how much she loves us. She makes our days brighter. Michael, is our little love bug. He's got such a soft heart and worries so much if he thinks something isn't right. He'll cuddle for hours, for no reason at all. And oh my goodness, the performers that we have! They are both so big on entertaining. Michael is so funny, while ZoeJane has a strong flair for the dramatics. I'm so excited to meet Phoenix and learn his little personality.
Each pregnancy has had it's own challenges, it's own scares. Each one has been special in a way that I cannot put into words. And there has always been something special about how things are between Dayton and I when we're expecting a baby, that ends up leaving us a little stronger than we were before.
Mommyhood isn't something I would trade for anything in the world. And while I fully intend on embarking on a career outside of the home within the next few years, I think the time I've spent with my babies will make a difference. I know it has for me. <3
Monday, August 1, 2011
Summer of Mercy...2.0
Back when I was big into the pro-life movement, I read about the Summer of Mercy in the early 90's and thought that it was great. Now, I look back and think "What was the point?". It wasn't peaceful. It was chaos. Can you imagine how those poor women must have felt? I can only imagine the weight of the world on my shoulders as I was about to make such a heart wrenching decision...much less with thousands of people pointing their fingers and judging me...publicly, on top of it. And on top of that, hundreds of pro lifers were arrested.
Now, Operation Rescue is at it again. Only this time, instead of holding their "peaceful" protest in Wichita, it's being held in Germantown, Maryland...right outside of Leroy Carhart's clinic. Leroy Carhart now performs late term abortions in his Germantown clinic, though the majority of his work is done early in pregnancy. The protest is scheduled to last for one week. Already, Carhart's clinic is scheduled to be closed for the week, in an effort to save the women undergoing abortion procedures from being humiliated, harassed, and possibly hurt. As soon as I read this, I understood that it was for the privacy (As if there really is any when you're a patient of this clinic, as Operation Rescue has an office directly across the street now. You better believe they're working those side walks on a daily basis.) and safety of the patients...but I automatically thought "What about the women who are at the limit?". I can't help but wonder about those women who are at the legal limit to receive an abortion as a result of a fetal abnormality. As if it wouldn't be bad enough to be in the situation to have to make that decision...what if you were doomed to bring a suffering child into the world, just because these people are so intent on judging others?
Don't get me wrong. I fully believe that everyone has the right to PEACEFULLY protest their beliefs. But I don't believe this is peaceful. I don't think this comes from a good place. I think these people are more interested in judging, more interested in being "better". I can understand one's reasoning for being pro life. If you're a regular reader, you know that I used to be one of them. Now, I consider myself lucky to understand both sides.
Please keep all involved in your thoughts and prayers this week. Please pray for the Operation Rescue people...that they carry on their protest with goodness in their hearts. Please pray for the women who are carrying babies doomed to suffering. Please pray for the women who are terminating their pregnancies, for whatever reason. Whether it be fetal abnormality, bad timing, or they just don't want a baby...pray for them. Pray for them because you want them to change their minds. Pray for them because you know they must be in a rough spot. Just pray for them. Pray for the unborn babies who are (whether you're on the pro life side of the pro choice side) in fact, losing their lives to abortion...for whatever reason. And finally, pray for all the workers who are in the reproductive field (again, whether you're praying they stop, or praying for their well being).
Now, Operation Rescue is at it again. Only this time, instead of holding their "peaceful" protest in Wichita, it's being held in Germantown, Maryland...right outside of Leroy Carhart's clinic. Leroy Carhart now performs late term abortions in his Germantown clinic, though the majority of his work is done early in pregnancy. The protest is scheduled to last for one week. Already, Carhart's clinic is scheduled to be closed for the week, in an effort to save the women undergoing abortion procedures from being humiliated, harassed, and possibly hurt. As soon as I read this, I understood that it was for the privacy (As if there really is any when you're a patient of this clinic, as Operation Rescue has an office directly across the street now. You better believe they're working those side walks on a daily basis.) and safety of the patients...but I automatically thought "What about the women who are at the limit?". I can't help but wonder about those women who are at the legal limit to receive an abortion as a result of a fetal abnormality. As if it wouldn't be bad enough to be in the situation to have to make that decision...what if you were doomed to bring a suffering child into the world, just because these people are so intent on judging others?
Don't get me wrong. I fully believe that everyone has the right to PEACEFULLY protest their beliefs. But I don't believe this is peaceful. I don't think this comes from a good place. I think these people are more interested in judging, more interested in being "better". I can understand one's reasoning for being pro life. If you're a regular reader, you know that I used to be one of them. Now, I consider myself lucky to understand both sides.
Please keep all involved in your thoughts and prayers this week. Please pray for the Operation Rescue people...that they carry on their protest with goodness in their hearts. Please pray for the women who are carrying babies doomed to suffering. Please pray for the women who are terminating their pregnancies, for whatever reason. Whether it be fetal abnormality, bad timing, or they just don't want a baby...pray for them. Pray for them because you want them to change their minds. Pray for them because you know they must be in a rough spot. Just pray for them. Pray for the unborn babies who are (whether you're on the pro life side of the pro choice side) in fact, losing their lives to abortion...for whatever reason. And finally, pray for all the workers who are in the reproductive field (again, whether you're praying they stop, or praying for their well being).
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