Really, Troy Newman?

In a recent article published by The Washington Post, Operation Rescue top dog Troy Newman was quoted as saying (in regard to late term abortion procedures), "There is no moral distinction. Ninety-eight percent are simply elective procedures for mothers who want to have dead children". Really, Troy? Because so many women wake up and say "Hey, I think I'll get knocked up today, so I can abort and have a dead baby to my name". Jackass. Without even knowing who said this, it's obvious that it was said by someone who has never had the misfortune of having a child diagnosed with a fatal abnormality. I hope he is able to remain in his ignorance induced state of bliss.

Why is it that our society has become so judgmental? So quick to dismiss a family's misfortune? So quick to point their finger? I think it all boils down to the simple fact that as humans, we are made to fear what we do not know. It's the simple fear of the unknown. Of course abortion is a tragedy of epic proportions. It goes without saying. There is not a single abortion case that is not devastating, in one way or another. Whether it's a case of a single girl who's birth control failed and she's not in the position to carry a pregnancy or have a child, or the the married woman who's planned pregnancy turned out to be doomed with a suffering child who would only take a handful of breaths outside of it's mother's womb. Abortion is a sad thing. No one here is saying otherwise. But why aren't we, as a society, acknowledging that? We're so quick to point the finger, without knowing what lies behind the decision. So many of us forget (and so many Christians, at that), that we are not the ones to judge. It is not our job. It is not a choice we were given. It is not a burden that was laid upon us. We are not to judge. Do I respect ones right to stand outside of an abortion clinic and CALMLY and nicely try to talk to the women going in? Sure. Do I respect ones right to oppose abortion? Of course. I use to. But it's just not our job to be judgmental. It's not our job to hate. And honestly, it's not our business. If  a woman chooses to abort, you can bet there is a reason behind it. And it's importance is not our business to sort it out.

Pro-choice mother?

A lot of the arguments that I get from pro-lifers involve them mentioning, at some point, that I am a mother. And since I have carried a child, how could I possibly still think that it's acceptable for a woman to abort a baby. This  is the argument that I have the most trouble with, especially considering how I feel about being pregnant. I always feel that special connection. So...there's a question to ponder. How can a woman, who has felt such strong connections with her own pregnancies, support a woman's right to choose?

First of all, I can honestly say, that unless there was a severe case of fetal anomaly, I wouldn't be able to even consider terminate a pregnancy. The only reason I would be able to do it then is because the idea of my baby suffering would tear me up...and I would worry how losing a sibling to watching a sibling struggle so much would effect my older two kids. Of course it would not be an easy decision (I don't think any woman in any situation ever has an easy time making the decision to terminate a pregnancy).

With that being said, I can understand why a girl who is raped would not only not bond with a pregnancy, but want to terminate it. And in that case, you can't really say "Well, she was irresponsible and got pregnant...now she has to deal with it". And let's be realistic...there are times when birth control fails and a pregnancy (and a baby) just aren't possible. So, for those who like to complain about dead beats running our welfare system dry, how can you when you expect women who are plain broke to carry pregnancies to term? Unfortunately, not every situation pans out perfectly.

I'm not saying that abortion isn't sad...in every single case. It is sad. It's the loss of a life. Every one knows that, no matter what side of the fence they're on. But life is sad. It's complicated, it's messy. It's not perfect 100% of the time for anyone. It doesn't work out every single time. Unfortunate, but realistic.

Back to reality.

Home from vacation. I feel like I need a vacation to recover from the vacation. But I guess that's how it works with kiddo's. Meanwhile, it's definitely back to business as usual.

I'm really starting to wrap my head around the idea that some people will never outgrow the jr. high phase of  their lives, and I don't know whether to feel bad for them or laugh. I mean, you know you've got an issue when you're married, expecting your second child, and still so hung up on your ex, that you feel the need to name your daughter after his daughter...and then pass the message down through the grapevine to his wife. I mean, really? Really, people? Aside from the obvious lack of creativity...are we really that immature? Who is willing to name their child based on getting back at someone?

On another note, it feels like people like this are always going to play a part in our lives and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. That hopeless feeling does nothing but piss me off and make me feel like a monumental idiot for ever dealing with it in the first place...especially considering the lack of support I have FOR dealing with it. And maybe I am. Shit. It's just one thing after another. At what point is it not worth dealing with anymore? At what point do you say "Okay, my brain is running out of room for the good memories because instead, it's stuck with all the bad ones...and that's no good"? At what point do you start discussing a lobotomy with your family physician....? Well, that's something new to ponder...

Hello, third trimester!

When I think of how far along I am now, it feels like it's flown by. When I think of how much longer I've got, it feels like forever. Last week, we were able to go have a 3D/4D ultrasound done (the first time we've been able to do it with any of our babies). It was amazing. It's one thing to see your baby moving in black and white on a normal ultrasound and feeling him at the same time. It's completely different to see him in there, playing with his feet, sucking his fingers, yawning, and stretching and feeling him at the same time. It's completely surreal to know exactly what he's doing in there when you can feel it at the same time. He is beautiful. He's got my fingers, and maybe my lips (I'm not sure if they're my lips or they're just not filled out yet). It was a little bittersweet. Don't get me wrong...it was amazing. But while watching him, it hit me that this is the last time we'll do these things. Our last ultrasound will be our last. This is the last time I'll fill out a registry. This will be the last time I have the honor of bringing another little life into the world. Our family is complete. It may just be the hormones...but it's a tough pill to swallow (as I write this, I'm thinking back to an hour ago when ZoeJane dumped a frosty on her head. On.Her.Head. Maybe it's not THAT tough of a pill to swallow...). 

Of course, there is a downside. The downside is the same as it has been with the last two births. The downside is that there is not allowed to be a baby born into this family without drama present. It's particularly ironic this time. No one in my family has been particularly excited to hear that Phoenix is on his way. It's just Cara and Dayton having another one. And yet...now that the time is rolling around for his arrival, the drama is brewing, just as it has with ZoeJane and Michael and my sister's two kids. There is no way around it...it has to be dealt with head on. But knowing that doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't make it any less shitty to know that so much fighting has to be done just to get that one special, peaceful moment. Even the plans I've made seem to be falling apart. Regardless, one thing is for sure: there is no way in hell that I am handing over this last special moment of the sort to pure drama. It's not happening. Phoenix is coming into the world surrounded by people who are excited to meet him, people who aren't there just to make it all about them. 

Rant over. 

Not guilty?

We're all thinking it. Even people who have thought she was innocent all along were surprised. I swear, you could have heard a pin drop across the whole country as the verdict was read. I was tuned into CNN, as I've been following this case since Caylee was "missing" and had gotten very invested in the case, emotionally. Now, chalk it up to pregnancy hormones...but it shocked me enough to make me cry. However, once the shock wears off and you really give it some thought...it boils down to a lack of evidence...the fact that they couldn't give a definitive cause of death. It sucks, but it's the truth.

I don't for one second think that Casey Anthony was molested by her dad and brother. I don't think that she suffers from a mental illness. I think it boils down to a lack of moral compass, selfishness, and a total lack of interest in anyone but herself (as well as maternal instinct). It's sad, but true. I don't think that this is all some big cover up. I don't think that Caylee died by accident.

The bottom line is that it's over. The sad part is that it's over, and still no one is being held accountable. The only thing that can be done now is to keep Caylee's memory alive, which I'm sure her grandparents will do.