Anyone who is friends with Dayton or me knows what happened in 2009. It was traumatic, to say the least. And yet, here we are, two years later doing better than ever. See, we knew going into this marriage that it would be hard. At 18 and 20, we had everyone and their uncles telling us not to do it. Once, I even had a nurse tell me all about her horrible first marriage once she found out I was getting married. Needless to say, we got married anyway.
What happened two years ago surprised me. In fact, it felt like I was having the world ripped out from underneath me. Good things came of it...but it was hard. I couldn't begin to fathom how I was going to take care of a 2 year old, carry a healthy pregnancy to term (and take care of another baby), work, and finish school all on my own. I managed. I managed to be a good mom to ZoeJane, take care of the pregnancy that I was carrying, stay in school, and find a job. All of that with a broken heart was not easy. In fact, it became easier to be angry than to be hurt. I didn't have time for hurt. I didn't have the patience for hurt. I didn't want the hurt. In all honesty, I still carry a little bit of that anger and a lot of that hurt. It's hard not to. I suppose it's inevitable. You pick up these little lessons throughout life, many of which come with the hurt or the anger (usually both), and while those lessons change you...it seems a lot of the hurt and the anger become part of you too. It's a vicious cycle.
I'm pretty sure I'll spend the next few years trying to rid myself of it completely.
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