This is a sarcastic title =)

It's times like this that I really miss having girl friends nearby. It's times like this that I miss having the misguided illusion that I could trust certain family members. It's time like this when I hate the fact that all of my siblings are close to each other, but none care to be close to me. It's time like this when the "alone factor" really hits me.

When things are so tense, it's easy to think of them together. It's easy to imagine the details. It's a knife in the chest.

It was so easy to look past it in the beginning. Things were so different. The level of affection and reassurance was insane. It was easy to feel the remorse. NOW, I just feel humiliated...angry...heartbroken. I figured I'd be over it by now. A whole year is a long to time to be upset. But it just keeps lingering there. I've had this reoccurring dream a few times that it was all a bad dream, and then I wake up and realize that actually THAT was the bad dream...a cruel one, to say the least.

This isn't something that I wanted to be alone with.