I, myself, am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

I just can't bring myself to apologize. It constantly stays on my mind, but not matter how many times I go over it in my head, I just don't see that I've done anything wrong. I'm holding my ground this time. The fact is, it shouldn't be this big of a deal anyway. And the fact that it is, just makes me feel like these are really negative people that do nothing but create drama...and I just don't need, nor do I want, any of that in my life. I can't change whether or not they have a problem with me. That's on them. But it really is a shame to miss out on siblings because you think you're better than they are.

On another note, while I'm feeling much better and dealing with everything much better than I was, I just can't shake all the questions I have about what happened. I've started having nightmares about it again, and that's never a good thing. I keep wondering if the thoughts will ever go away. It's like the mental images are seared into my mind. I keep asking myself if I'm even allowed to still be upset and hurt by it. A few weeks ago, I made the conscious decision to put this shit behind me. Unfortunately, it's creeping back into my thoughts. I suppose there's really nothing I can do about that.