Regardless of what side you're on in this debate, it's likely that you feel like you're missing out on something. Stay at home moms tend to have the nagging "not contributing to the family" issue, working moms tend to feel like they're missing out on watching their kids grow. Sometimes it seems to be a no win, no matter which route you decide to take.
For me, while I've worked for a period since I've been a mom, I've been a stay at home mom for the majority of the time. It's not something that I ever really planned on, but once ZoeJane was born, we decided it was best for her to stay at home with me for a while, then it just stuck (we had one car). I worked for a while while I was pregnant with Michael and for about 4 months after, and I loved it. I loved the adult conversation and having a little bit of time away. However, my two favorite things were giving my husband the chance to miss me and making my own money. For the first time in our marriage, I didn't feel like everything was his. I felt like I had an equal say. And it's nice to be missed sometimes. In fact, it's damn near incredible. I assume that lots of stay at home moms don't have these feelings of inequality. I also assume it's probably because they have a perfect (or damn near perfect) marriage...or the most appreciative husbands imaginable. But that's just me. I loathe the feeling of having nothing of my own...nothing with my name on it. It doesn't matter what he says about it, I still feel that way regardless. But hey, sometimes, you've got to do what you've got to do. Hence, the degree. At least once I graduate, the money that I am making while spending time away from the kids will be better than the money I'd be making now, without a degree.
My biggest problem with working is that I'm a worrier. It was the first time since she had been born that I had really left ZoeJane for a long period of time. So there were always lots of phone calls to check in. It didn't matter that she was with Dayton or my family--I hated the idea that I wasn't the one supervising and taking care of her. If there was a way to make good money and stay at home at the same time, I'd be on it.
By the time I'm done with my degree, there's a good chance that Dayton won't be working (he's getting a medical discharge), so the roles will be completely reversed. And once I start working full time, I imagine that I'll enjoy the adult interaction, but knowing me, I'll probably be jealous that he's the one that gets to spend all the time with the kids.
I guess it's a never ending struggle with moms. Since the beginning of time, we've been programmed to stay home and take care of the house, the kids, and the husband. Of course times have changed...but that doesn't make the internal struggle any less difficult.
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