How will you address....gay?

A few months ago, ZoeJane and I were sitting in the living room and she randomly says "Mommy, what does it mean when two boys are together, you know, kissing, married?"...I was shocked. At 5 years old, it never occurred to me, and even if it had, it would have been completely shut down as one of those "I'll tell you when you're older things". I sat there, in silence, stunned...just looking at her. All I could manage to get out was "Where did you see that?", and she says (calmly, in the innocent voice you would expect from a 5 year old little girl), "Oh, just on tv". And while I'm sorting my thoughts, she brings another question, "Can boys marry each other?"....and I said the first thing that came to mind: "In some places they can". Then I explained to her that yes, in some states, boys could marry boys and girls could marry boys, and that although is was different, it didn't mean that it was wrong. She asked what it was called, and I told her gay. I was as honest as I could be with her. My mom once told me, "You tell kids things until they ask...and when they do, you're honest"...so I was honest with her. That day, when Dayton came home from work, ZoeJane runs up to him and says, "Daddy! When two boys marry each other, or two girls marry each other, it means gay. And just because it's different from us, doesn't mean it's wrong". I was so proud. After that, every time we'd see a couple out in public, she'd say, "Look, mom! They're gay!"...not knowing that her words could be considered offensive by some. I just relished in her innocense. After a few weeks, she stopped telling random strangers who didn't ask, what gay was. But then my very conservative, Christian parents came to visit. We all decided to go out to lunch together, and ZoeJane wanted to ride with my parents. Okay, fine. We get to the restaraunt and my mom gives me the infamous "I'm-so-unhappy-with-your-life-choices" look..."Guess what we heard on the way here...", I was dumbfounded, "....what?", I replied. "We heard that when two boys are together or two girls are together, that it means they're gay. She is FIVE years old, Cara". I couldn't help but smile. I say, "Mom, you told me that I wasn't to tell my kids what they weren't ready to know...but when they asked, I was supposed to tell them the truth. I did what you said, mom".

The conversation changed. Immediately.