Baby Fever?......No!

So, ever since Phoenix was born, I've still been pretty active on my September 2011 birth club board on BabyCenter. In the last week, there have been at LEAST 5 different "Who else is pregnant again?" posts. And get this....there are like 30-40 women replying that yes, they are pregnant again. Already? Holy hell, right? And make no mistake, most of these women are making it known that these were PLANNED pregnancies. I couldn't imagine getting pregnant before a baby was 2, then we got pregnant with Michael was like 15 months old. But to get pregnant before a baby was 1?! I think I would just keel right over and die. So, imagine my surprise when, as I'm reading this threads, I feel a twinge of jealousy. Interesting. I certainly do not want to be pregnant now, or anytime soon. And to be honest, I'm pretty sure that I'm good with 3 (Yes, I always imagined 4....but then I had the first one. Ha!). So, this gets me thinking, "What the hell is wrong with you?! Your uterus would slap the shit out of you right now if she could!". Could it be that I feel stripped of my rights to bear children because Dayton went ahead with the big clip? Possibly. Am I the one that told me to go ahead and make the damn appointment before I changed my mind again? Absolutely. For the last 6 years, having babies has been my thing. But now, our little family is complete and I feel like I'm kind of standing here with this big question mark on my forehead like, "What now?" (Obvious answer: Raise the ones you've got! Holy crap....in a few months you're going to have TWO mobile boys!!!).

Since I know that I'm done having babies, do I start taking a little more time for myself? Do I start taking advantage of the fact that my body is once again, my own? Do I sit back and love the idea that our youngest baby is starting to put himself to sleep and sleep longer at night? Hell yes, I do. All of that, and then some.

There are about 52,608 logical reasons that I should never be pregnant again. One being that I don't think I could handle a fourth child. Another being that my body would barely make it, if at all...and would torture me for the rest of my life. And of course, there's that whole idea of never having to go through those newborn nights again. There is ONE emotional reason that I should: I want to do all the sweet little baby stuff again. Seems to make perfect sense right? No more babies. But, no...mother nature has a different idea. She likes to sit on my shoulder and really drill all the sweet pregnant/newborn things into my head (Ah, ultrasounds with the hubbs, weekly belly pictures, those ADORABLE little outfits, and let's not forget the new baby smell). She drills to the point that I want to slap the bitch off my shoulder one good time. But I don't. I sit here nicely, calmly reminding myself that I told Dayton to make his appointment for a reason (and that if someone sees me getting violent with this invisible being on my shoulder, I will probably get a one way ticket to the nut house).

Oh, the joys of being a woman!