My views on abortion

A few days ago, I posted (well, shared) a picture on my facebook page that depicted a political figure performing a pelvic exam on a woman with the words "Oh, I see the problem. You have the government in your vagina!"....clearly, it was a crack at the republican party trying to outlaw abortion. I suspected this would piss a few people (okay, a lot of people) on my facebook page off. But then I thought, I'm entitled to my opinions, and if they're that outraged by my opinions, they can either act like they never saw it...or they can delete me. After all, when it comes to something you really believe in, you can't put too much thought into what other people think of you for it.

Well, as expected, someone got pissed off. One of my oldest friends made a comment about how I needed to research what I was expressing. I didn't feel like making it into a huge thing, so I just deleted the comment. A few hours later, I got an instant message...."People are never going to respect your opinions if you can't defend them". My first thought was "They're MY opinions....I don't need to defend them. I told him that, but he wasn't letting up. Throughout the conversation, I was told that as I get older, I'm getting dumber. I was told that I'm impressionable. I was told that I need to quit believing the lies that Planned Parenthood was feeding me. Hm. Again, this is why I feel it's un-necessary to have these discussions with people who have no hope of opening their minds to see the other side. I've mentioned plenty of times before on this blog that I was originally FIERCELY pro-life. But I was lucky enough to be open minded enough to see the other side. I understand both sides of this debate. I have VERY unique beliefs about abortion. And in this post, I'll detail them.

First of all, let me say that as a mother, I think that EVERY.SINGLE.ABORTION. that happens is a sad event. Regardless of whether it's because the woman or girl just wasn't planning on a baby, she can't afford a baby, birth control failed, the pregnancy is a result of rape or incest, or God forbid, something is fatally wrong with the child. It is a SAD thing. No matter what side of the debate you're on...I think everyone can agree that an abortion is the ending of a life (or the potential for life, depending on your beliefs on when life begins). That's just the truth of the matter. An abortion is the ending of a life. This is SPECIFICALLY true in cases of late term abortion.

There are a few things that changed my mind on the matter of abortion. Until I was about 22, there was no reason a woman should have an abortion....EVER. And then, at around 14 weeks pregnant, I and my 2 year old daughter were kicked out of our apartment and my husband told me he wanted a divorce. Suddenly, I understood why girls and women consider the option. Not because it would be easier for me....it would have been the hardest thing I've ever done. But I felt it was unfair to bring a child into a broken home, where I believed the father didn't want him. I was worried about supporting my one child on my own....and TERRIFIED about how I'd support two. And to be honest, with all the stress my body was going through, I was already almost sure I'd miscarry. It was a devastating time. I obviously did not go through with the abortion. The farthest I got was googling how late you could have an abortion and how much it would cost (I knew NOTHING on the subject before then). After Michael was born, I felt so guilty....I cried often, thinking that he knew what I had been thinking during the pregnancy. I was lucky enough to make it through the pregnancy with only placenta previa, two threatened miscarriages, and a tear in my placenta. The whole ordeal was terrifying, but once I got back up on my feet, I became VERY attached to the baby that I was carrying. After Michael was born, and my husband and I were back together, I took a class where I had to do a persuasive research paper on abortion. I started the paper with the intention of convincing my classmates and my teacher than abortion was wrong. But by the end of it, I knew better. I read countless stories about women who had tried so hard to get pregnant, only to find that there baby had some awful ailment that they were suffering from. Stories about women who were very responsible, but their birth control failed, and they simply COULDN'T support a child (or another child). The guilt and pain that these women expressed was gut wrenching. There were nights that I couldn't stop crying while doing the research. So, yes, I think abortion should be legal. I think it is VERY IMPORTANT that it stays legal. Not because it should be an option for birth control.

Do I think it's appropriate that a girl is irresponsible with birth control and repeatedly uses abortion as a form of birth control? Absolutely not. Do I think a girl who IS responsible and just happens to fall into the .01% should be able to get an abortion? Yes. Do I think a mother who has tried for years to conceive and finally does, then finds out her baby is suffering and will probably die should be able to end her child's suffering? Absolutely. Even if it is unfortunately a late term abortion. Most insurance companies only pay for 3 ultrasounds per pregnancy. The initial ultrasound, which is used for dating purposes. The 18-20 week ultrasound to scan the anatomy (make sure everything is working properly). And the last ultrasound right before delivery to determine positioning. This is why most women who terminate for medical reasons end up having abortions late in the second trimester, or God forbid, early in the third trimester. There are TONS of abnormalities and problems that can be detected between 10-12 weeks of pregnancy. But since most insurance companies don't cover ultrasounds at that stage, most women don't find out about them until the 18th to 20th week of pregnancy. It's sad, really. By than, a woman is attached. Trust me, I know.

What really bothers me is that most people who are offended by my beliefs are conservative republicans. Rick Santorum is a conservative republican. One of his stances is outlawing contraceptives and abortion...even in the case of the mother's life being at risk. However, in 1996, he and his wife allowed doctors to induce labor (they knew early on that the baby would not live long after birth) because she had an intrauterine infection and a fever of nearly 105 degrees. Inducing labor before a baby is viable....termination, abortion. Do I think they were wrong? No. Do I think they should have continued to pregnancy? Of course not. They had other children at home that needed a mother. Do I think it's bullshit that he's now trying to outlaw abortion for ANY reason (even the reason his own wife had one)? HELL YES.


You may not like my views. You may completely disagree with them. But it doesn't give you the right to belittle me, take stabs at me, or argue with me just because you can. It can be a respectful debate. It can be a healthy debate. But why bother taking low blows? What good is that doing ANYONE? None.