Ever since I started researching abortion (for a pro-life paper I wrote 2 years ago), every once in a while, I google George Tiller, just in case there is something new to learn. Usually, nothing new pops up. After all, the man did die in 2009. It's not like he can do much to make news now.
Well, I think I read through every possible article that was available on the man while I was doing my research. At first, I was appalled, then outraged, then...sympathetic. Not just towards him, but his family, his patients, and the children that lost their lives in his clinic. As I've said before, regardless of the fact that I am pro-choice, abortion is a sad fact. It's sad that it happens. It's sad that a life is lost. It's sad that a woman feels she has to give up a chance at motherhood. All the way around, it's sad. But, as I've also said before, abortion is a fact of life. And in some instances, even necessary.
Something that I don't often come across are other mothers who are pro-choice. I know many women who were pro-choice, then they became mothers, and their views changed. I'm the opposite. I was fiercely pro-life, and after Dayton and my separation and research, I became fiercely pro-choice. Ironic, since I've experienced the miracle of bringing a life into the world....trust me, I know. I can watch video after video and read article after article about George Tiller's clinic, and when I see it....I don't see it as a building that houses women's rights. I see it as a sad place. I place of goodbyes. A place of letting go, even when the people involved didn't want to. George Tiller....I don't see him as a murderer. I don't really see him as a doctor. I see him, and I the first word to cross my mind is "mercy". Sure. He aborted children that I, myself, would have taken the chance on and carried. He's also aborted children that had no hope other than a short life of pain. But then, who am I to judge the women that went to him? Who are any of us to judge them? I used to think that if Dayton and I ever had a Downs Syndrome baby, I could handle it. After researching the disease, I'm not so sure. There are so many more problems than the public is aware of. And it's like that for MANY diseases. I'll be honest. If we had a baby who had a life threatening illness and I aborted, I would always feel guilty for aborting. I would. I would always wonder "what if". But I know that if I had a child in such a condition, I would always feel guilty and selfish for bringing him or her into the world just to make myself feel better. Maybe it DOES make sense. Maybe since I am a mother now, I know that I would do anything to take the pain away from the child. I would do anything to keep my child from suffering, even if it broke my own heart. Even if it took my own life. I would do anything to keep my babies from suffering. I'd like to say that there is no disease too big that I wouldn't be able to handle it when it came to my own child. But, I would not be able to handle watching him or her suffer. That's something that I couldn't do. I couldn't handle looking at my child and seeing a look on his/her face of "Why?" or "Mommy, make this better".
This is an intensely sensitive subject. And a very personal one, at that. Some women would be able to weather a life threatening illness. Maybe it makes me weak that I am not one of them. I don't know. And I am open minded enough to respect a person's feelings of being pro-life. After all, I used to be one of the best of them. But I don't think it's acceptable, from either stand-point, to judge. I don't think it's okay for a pro-choice person to judge a woman for carrying a child that she knew would suffer and die. I don't think it's okay for a pro-life person to judge a woman for terminating a pregnancy, for any reason. Because after all, what they say is true....until you walk a mile in someone's shoes, you have no idea how they feel or what they're going through.
No comments:
Post a Comment