I wish I could get lost for a week. Have a week to get drunk, cry, scream, and deal with my shit. I'm so sick of having it on my mind, I can hardly stand it. I can't imagine how tired Dayton is of hearing it. I have no idea what to do about it anymore. How long can you have the same thing on your mind, constantly analyzing it? Constantly upset about it? Constantly replaying it in your mind? That wears on a person's nerves.
Meanwhile, I keep having nightmares. Really horrible, graphic, detailed nightmares about losing babies and stuff. I've woken up crying a few times. Dayton and I want to have one more baby in a couple of years, but these dreams have me terrified to even think about getting pregnant.
I really do need a vacation.
No comments:
Post a Comment