11 months...and still no teeth!

Today, my sweet baby boy is 11 months old! I can't believe it. It feels like just yesterday, I was in the hospital having him. The last 11 months have been a whirlwind! And yes, he's still as toothless as the day he was born. But it's amazing to watch him gum down some goldfish or a banana. The kid has talent.

In the last two weeks, he went from simply sitting on the floor, to getting up on his knees, to TAKING OFF! He's a spitfire! And now, we can't keep him still. He's all over the place and into everything. In the last few days, he also started pulling up on his own (Slow down, baby boy! Mommy isn't ready for this!).

One of his favorite things to do now is to wave at people. Even if I'm simply sitting across the room, he has to wave. When we come or go, he waves. Sometimes we just have to look at him and he waves. It's the CUTEST wave I think I've ever seen (except for the baby waves ZoeJane and Michael did, haha). He gets so tickled at himself when he does it...it's adorable.

And finally, the little monkey has got a few words under his belt. He says dada, mama, and yuuummmm. He loves that he's able to say mama or dada and get our attention immediately. In fact, sometimes I think he loves it a little too much. He calls one of us just so he can laugh when we turn around. If he calls Dayton and Dayton doesn't respond fast enough, he lets out the loudest grunt/"DA!" that he can muster. That one leaves all of us laughing.

It's been a bittersweet 11 months. I love watching him learn and grow, but I hate knowing that this is the last time that I'll be doing the baby things. It breaks my heart just a teense. And because it's the last time, I'm constantly worried that I'm going to miss something.

So, here we are at 11 months in, baby boy. Hold on tight. We're just getting started! (I love you, I love you, I love you!)

Swollen lymph nodes, an IV, and a hospital admission.

So, I finally couldn't take it anymore. The swelling seemed to increase overnight from Wednesday to Thursday, so we loaded up Thursday afternoon and brought him to the Children's hospital ER for a second opinion. At first, they thought it was the mumps. Then they did blood work and an ultrasound on the swelling. It turns out that Michael has what's called a micro bacterial infection. Apparently, it's a pretty common infection and children, and one way they can pinpoint it is that kids with it don't typically seem "sick", which he hasn't.

The game plan is to keep him on IV antibiotics, which he receives every 6 hours (and another antibiotic once a day) and to monitor the swelling (they drew a circle around the swelling to track it). If they're not happy with the improvement the antibiotics bring, we will be consulting an ENT for surgery to remove the infected node. Call me crazy, but even if it takes surgery, I'll just be happy that it's gone and not hurting him anymore. So far, the swelling that came up underneath his chin over the last two days is almost completely gone, and the swelling around the node (on the lower bottom part of his face) has definitely reduced, but the node hasn't. So I'm anxiously waiting until the pediatrician makes his rounds in the morning.

I have to say, though, as nervous as I've been for the last week (Best diet ever, I've lost 7 lbs in one week. Ha!) about whether or not he's "okay" has GOT to be an understatement for some of the parents up here. I've seen the scariest things since I've been here...and it's only been a little over 24 hours. A few hours ago, a child a few rooms down from us coded. It was scary. My heart breaks for those parents. Another little boy on our floor celebrated his birthday today. All of the nurses signed a big poster and hung it on his door.

The best thing is that the hospital staff has been great. They've been amazing with Michael, and with Dayton and I. They've been so thorough and helpful. It's almost like a hotel here...anything you need, they've got. Even rooms for families to spend the night in (for free) on the first floor. It's amazing. My only regret is that I didn't bring him here last Friday when this first started. For some reason, it didn't even dawn on me. This is the same hospital that we brought ZoeJane to when she had RSV at 2 months. I guess I've always seen it as a hospital you're referred to, instead of one that you go to for emergencies (This was clearly my blonde roots doing their thing, because Children's DOES have an emergency room. Doh!).

So, until we get some news...here's a photo bomb of the little man...enjoy!

Recap!

Okay, so I've already shared with you guys how our week ended yesterday (terror in the form of a lymph node). It's time to try and decompress a little and go back a little further.

Most people who read this blog also follow my pro-choice blog. Big news in that department. There's a new post up, hopefully drawing some publicity to the 2nd annual Summer of Choice walk...approved by who? None other than Mary Carhart (Do your abortion research, people). The best part? The message I got from her after she read it. =) Go ahead, indulge yourself.

ZoeJane has completely her first week of kindergarten and is loving it. She loves having homework every night and being able to walk herself to class and helping me pick out healthy things for her lunch box. My little social butterfly is blossoming. Oh, yeah, and by Wednesday, she informed us that she had already met her future husband, Lee.

Phoenix=CRAWLING. And not just crawling...this kid is all over the place! He may have been a late bloomer in this department, but holy hell! In a WEEK, he's mastered crawling, monkey-butt crawling (what I call the funny thing they do where they crawl with their butts up in the air), and pulling up. >.< I'm in trouble.

And we all know what's going on with my Michael man. We probably won't have any test results back until at least Monday, but he has started the antibiotics. He's never been on meds this strong and they're doing a number on his tummy. The swelling hasn't gone down any either, but the doctor told me not to expect any improvement right away. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin playing this waiting game!

Stay tuned...

Scariest day of my life...

Yesterday morning, after breakfast, I went to clean off Michael's face and he fought me. I figured it was his typical two year old self pitching a fit and I didn't think anything of it. A little while later, I grabbed his face to give him kisses like I always do, and there was a HUGE knot under the skin around the very back of his jaw bone. I pulled him away from me and saw that there was a LOT of swelling (no idea how I missed this...) on the lower right side of his face. I immediately ran him across the street to my neighbor and resident nurse and she said that he needed to be seen right away. I figured as much.

So  I got the boys dressed (ZoeJane was already at school) and we loaded up to take Dayton to work and head to the pediatric ER. Luckily, they got us back immediately. We didn't sit in the waiting room for anymore than 2 minutes, at most. Once we got back, the dr was in really fast. She immediately started checking other lymph nodes. Nothing. She checked inside his mouth. Nothing. No fever. She also confirmed my assumption that if something had happened where he had been hurt, there would be bruising. No bruising. She told me that she needed to go through her head for a minute and figure out what to do next, and she stepped out.

About 5 minutes later, she walked back in. She asked if we had a young cat...yes. She asked if Michael played with her a lot...yes. She said that was good. That with that being considered, this could be cat scratch fever, and that is is much more common than you would think. She said it could also be a viral infection. Then, she explained that the reason she immediately check his other lymph nodes was because anytime a child comes in with lymph node swelling this bad, they immediately check the others as a precaution to check for cancer. CANCER. The big C. I tried not to panic. She said it was a good sign that none of the others were swollen. She also said that since this seemed to come out of nowhere (didn't develop slowly over time) and that he still had an appetite and no weight loss, we had good reason to believe this wasn't cancer (that ugly word again). She decided to do some blood work (which he took like a CHAMP...didn't even flinch), though she said she expected the results we would get back the same day would be fine. What we're really waiting on is the test for cat scratch fever, which will take a few days. In the meantime, she gave him a prescription for Bactrim (pretty strong antibiotics) and said we'd start that in the meantime, and while we won't see immediate results, if it IS a viral infection or CSF, we will notice the knot going down. However, if in a few weeks, it's still there...we will probably need to get a biopsy to check for cancer. The good news is that his immediate results came back fine. Everything looks normal. But again, it's those longer results that we really need to see.

This woman was talking to me about cancer, in reference to my child. My 2 year old little boy. My vibrant, active, midst-of-the-terrible-two's little boy. I know that I should be focusing on all the reasons she said we had to believe that this WASN'T cancer. But how can I? As a mother, that awful word is stuck in my head. And of course, once I got home, I did the most idiotic thing I could do--I consulted Dr. Google. First result for "swollen lymph node with no other symptoms"? Lymphoma. In fact, every time I searched ANYTHING related to swollen lymph nodes, the results came back with cancer somewhere in the mix.

Terrified is an understatement. We started the Bactrim last night and so far, it's taking a toll on his tummy, which we expected. We (Dayton and I) are chomping at the bit waiting to see SOME sign of improvement. SOMETHING to give us a little bit of hope. PLEASE, someone tell me that you've gone through something like this!

Lost in....Motherhood?

So, I started a new class today, and on our first day, we're required to write an introduction. While I was posting mine, I realized that it was completely based around my husband and children. There just wasn't much to say about myself (at least nothing that would be appropriate for a classroom setting, haha). It made me a little sad. I suppose all wives and mothers go through this at some point. A feeling like their wifely and mothering duties have completely overshadowed their true selves. I realized, I feel kind of lost in the mix. I don't know how (or when I'll have the time), but I hope to be able to re-discover a little more of myself very, very soon.

Secret?

My sister is 32 years old today. No big deal, right? She seems good with it. Me? OMG. I remember being at her 14th birthday party with my bestie and my sister told her two cutest guy friends to dance with us. We were 7 and 8. My mom still has the pictures. My bestie had a shit eating grin on her face....I was grinning, with my eyes squinted closed. But on that night, I remember thinking that she was so grown up. Looking back, I thought she was SO sophisticated. On my 14th birthday, I had the same thought...back to my sister's 14th. And I thought "Shit, I don't feel nearly as sophisticated as I expected". Guess what? I still don't. Here I am at 25, and I have my moments where I still feel like a teenager. It's crazy.

So here it is...do you feel, at the age that you are, that you would have felt more sophisticated and "together" by now? Let's hear it!

And so it begins...

My baby girl has started school. Real school. She's taken the first step towards college, a career, a...grown up life. I realize I'm probably getting way ahead of myself. But I just can't stop thinking about it.


She's ready to roll!

I'll post more pictures later. =)

It's finally here...

In a little over 8 hours, Dayton and I will be walking our sweet (way too grown up) baby girl to her classroom. And we'll be leaving her there.

Don't get me wrong. I'm pretty confident in the school and her teachers. But it is BREAKING.MY.HEART. to know that my baby girl is officially a kindergartner.

I keep thinking about the first day I spent alone with her, when Dayton went back to work...I just kept thinking over and over and over...."This is never going to change. That first day of school will never happen. She's going to be my baby forEVER". Well, I was wrong. And here it is, just a measly few hours before her first day of kindergarten. I can't sleep. I want it to be perfect for her. And I want to manage all my shit before she's up to see it. NOT EASY. But I'm working on it.

If I can manage to pull it together tomorrow, I'll post an update.

Note to Self: STFU!

So, I managed, with one comment to start a whole shit storm in my family via Facebook. Yeah, nice going, I know. And of course, it started with all this Chik-fil-A crap that has undoubtedly caused more trouble than it's worth. Personally (and please note that I said *personally*...I'd write in in big flashing glittery lights if it were possible), I don't think it was necessary for Dan Cathy to come out and make a big public statement about something that was already known (at least among non-dumbasses). Everyone who is a regular customer at Chik-fil-A realizes that they are a Christian-owned company. I mean, really, they're closed on Sundays. Duh. So, it goes without saying (pun intended) that they would not support gay marriage. My opinion (again, imagine big flashing glittery lights here) is this: it is not very Christian-like to "stir the pot". Dan Cathy's public statement really didn't serve any purpose other than stirring the pot. I mean really, why state the obvious? Oh wait! I know the answer to this one because I've heard it from every single conservative Republican that I know...because he can. True story. He can. But Westboro Baptist Church can stand outside of a soldier's funeral flashing obnoxious neon signs with things like "God loves dead soldiers!" and "God hates fags!" and "God hates America!"....they can, but does that make it right? (Food for thought here, people)

So, after reading an uncomfortable comment, I stated my opinion (in a much shorter way). Cue shit  storm. Please, keep in mind, I never stated my opinion on gay marriage...only my opinion on this whole public statement nonsense. Well, no one commented on this particular status until I did, and once I did, the poster got all sorts of "Way to go!" and "You're exactly right!" comments. Man, way to show up the liberal. Then the storm got...well, bitchy.

So here it is, 4 days after the status was posted and my comment was added and I've been deemed a non-Christian...because it was assumed that since I didn't agree with how this was handled, that I support gay rights (Which, yes, I do. If we're going to take basic rights away from sinners, we're all screwed). Well, damn. And maybe they're right. I don't hammer into my children that gay people are "wrong, wrong, wrong" (I'd just like to point out, "sinner, sinner, chicken dinner!" is flashing in my head right now. Sorry. Couldn't resist). I don't think that rights should be taken away from citizens because we don't agree with their lifestyle. I don't think that as a CHRISTIAN (yeah, I said it!) that it's my place to take rights away, or judge someone else's lifestyle. And I'm raising my kids the same way. In my opinion, the main theme of the Bible is to love thy neighbor, and that will be the main theme behind every choice I make while raising my children.

Am I saying you're not a Christian if you don't believe in gay rights? Nope. It's not my place to say whether or not you're a Christian and for what reasons. But is it really necessary to be obnoxious about your beliefs? No. Roll with the punches, people. Accept the fact that people are going to have opinions that differ from yours and that it doesn't make them awful people. We're all adults. We're allowed to disagree. And holy hell, how boring would it be if we didn't?! God MADE us to have our own free will. He gave us the ability to think for ourselves and make our own decisions. Are we so hard wired that we have forgotten that we can do that? Have we become SO frigid on our own beliefs that we believe it's okay to lose our humanity with people who don't agree with us?

Bottom line is this: We are ALL sinners. Every last one of us. And every last one of us has at least one big no-no on our record. Fornicators are allowed to marry. Adulterers are allowed to marry and re-marry. Hell, even bi-racial couples (gasp!) are allowed to get married! If I'm not mistaken, doesn't the Bible have something to say about all of these things? And yet, we're going to deny gay couples the right to marry so that they can benefit from things like, being able to have a say in medical decisions of their loved ones, being able to support their children after their partner has died  (Anybody think it's a little twisted that they're allowed to adopt, but not allowed to marry?), and every other right that we, as spouses, have? It doesn't make sense. If you're going to agree with one part of the Bible, you should be agreeing with all of it. Aside from that, yes, Dan Cathy had a right to say what he said...but what was the point? There wasn't one. Sure, he got a shit ton of business from it, but was that worth singling out an entire sub group of people?

Alas, the drama will continue. And next time, I hope I remember to keep my mouth shut and my fingers off the keys.