Some things I should have gotten out a long time ago...

Everyone comes to that moment in their lives when they have to ask a question that they already know the answer to...but as much as they don't want to hear the answer, they have to. The truth has to be put out there. I asked that question the night of July 17, 2009. I already knew the answer, but it had to be said out loud. So I braced myself and asked. All I needed to hear was the hushed "yes". With that, my whole world was ripped from underneath my feet. I couldn't breathe. I could barely speak. I'm pretty sure I could actually feel a big part of my heart chip away right then and there. And for the last year and a half, that hushed "yes" has haunted me. I'm starting to think that it always will. But why does it have to? Why can't it go in one ear and out the other? Is this one moment in our lives bound to haunt us? Once the question is asked, does it automatically weave itself into our beings? Will we be forced to carry it with us to our deaths? And if we never would have asked, would the question haunt us instead? Would it haunt us as long as the answer does? And is it inevitable that once the question is asked, it brings even more questions to light? Apparently so. Did you notice all the question marks?